supermarket funnies

[teamcool]

A bit random I know but I have my reasons. Has anyone got any funny supermarket related funny stories to share with me? i.e. funny incidents while shopping or working there, strange tannoy announcements etc. Your participation is much appreciated :)

[kazza12345]

when i was working as a cashier, i used to try and guess what the person was like from the stuff they bought ... i was a bit stumped at the man who bought a packet of tights, baby oil, and condoms ... i simply could not imagine a scenario for those purchases

i was also filling the tampax shelves one day, when a woman and a little boy came down the aisle, and he said (of course, in a very loud voice) dont you want some of those things you shove up your bum mummy?

He had obviously seen her using them and gotr the wrong idea

[teamcool]

Beautiful kazza lol keep them coming :)

[kazminx]

i was in the super one day and a small boy was crying very loud shouting 'mummy'..the shop was pretty quiet so i wondered why she hadn't come to his aid. i went round to where he was to see if i could help....i was quite upset by his crying (he was only about 5). then i realised why 'mummy' had vanished....he was standing with his trousers and pants at his ankles with a giant sh*t just sitting there. he couldnt move or pull his pants up..it would have been catapulted out the 'hammocl'..i ran away too!!!!!

[gazzawazza]

My sister swears this happened as she was waiting to be served...

A well-dressed woman had just emptied her trolley onto the checkout conveyor belt when her kid started asking for sweets. She told him he couldn't have anymore, and the spoilt little brat carried on whinging and whining. His mother remained resolute in denying him, until the kid played his trump card, telling his mother that if she didn't buy him some sweets he'd tell granny that "I saw you with daddy's tail in your mouth!"

At this point, well-dressed mother simply turned, took hold of him by his sideburns and calmly marched him out of the shop leaving her shopping half packed!

[heathfield]

A friend, carrying his 3 year old daughter on his arm, was searching the canned vegetable shelves when a very well-endowed young lady moved alongside and she too started looking over the cans on display. Daughter stared hard for a few seconds, turned to her dad, and exclaimed in a loud voice, "Look Dad! Big Boosies!".

[shazbang]

When I was 15 my mum was in hospital having my little sister. She asked me to buy her night time sanitary towels (you know, the ones that are like nappies). So, off i go to superdrug and up to the counter with the packet. The barcode would not scan so what did the cashier do? she held them aloft for the whole store to see and shouted down to the back of the shop to her colleague asking for the price. At this point my whole face and neck are the same colour as the pkt of sanitary towels - purple. Well, it takes ages for the pr!ck to come back with the price and in the meantime a hugh queue had formed behind me. I've never been so mortified in all my life (i was only 15) and to this day cannot purchase my own tampons, have to get my partner to do it for me. thanks mum.

[Wispy68]

What a great question teamcool. The answers have had me in stitches!

When I was a baby, my mum took me to the supermarket in my pram and as many mums in those days (the late 60s) did, she left me in my pram outside the shop, did her shopping, walked home and suddenly realised she had forgotten something....me!!!

Thankfully, I was still sitting happily, and none the wiser, in my pram as my mum had raced back to the shop to re-claim me, although I often think that she must have sometimes wished she'd left me there when I would be having one of my frequent tantrums!!

[ronnie963]

my mum and dad had to go to B&Q and they took my little sister who was 2 1/2 they were looking around the bathroom part when they heard her shout "no toilet roll" and there she was sat on one of the display toilets and had done a big steaming sh*t my poor mum whipped her of and put the lid down and made a quick exit with her saying "i need my bum wiping". I always wonder who had to clean it up. And when she gets wed a hope my dad tells everybody in his speach because now she acts all miss prim and proper.

[magical_trev]

hey, i used to work in a supermarket (co-op to be honest - crappy shop but a funny place to work!) when we used to have a shop lifter in store they would tannoy "mr factor to the trash compactor" but one day there was a mr factor in store and he came to the front of the store complaining that he didnt understand why he had to go to the trash compactor when he didnt work there! lol wasnt really good when we couldnt explain (for security reasons) why his name had been called out! ohwell i think they've changed it to "mr keybash" now lol

[kazminx]

i was in tesco today. they have introduced 'self serve' where you scan your own shopping using bar codes. you pay and away you go. as its new, there are staff there to help. the guy who was staffing this today told me he watched a man trying to scan 1 banana!! he thought it was a camera which picked up the article...another guy went through with �130 worth of shopping and nearly broke it..its really meant for quickness and a few items...i ask you!!!!! (sorry but all men of course lol)

[kazzianne]

God some of these answers are funny!!

Years ago when I was still married,my ex was a prison officer.One day I was in Tesco's with my daughter who was about 2 at the time,and very cute with long plaits etc.A lady stopped and started chatting about how sweet she lookd etc ,then bent down and said to her "Hello cutie - Daddy must be so proud of you.Is he at work today?" to which my daughter replied "He's in prison." I nearly died on the spot,and tho I tried to explain to the woman that he worked there you could just see that she didnt believe a word of it!!