Culling Session

[Scanning]

I work in an open plan office. I'm currently the operations manager. I am 31. 95% of my staff are the age of 55+. I must admit there is certainly a lot of dead wood here, and im a little perturbed at the fact that the rest are just not exciting anymore. I am looking for ways to have a culling session to get some new "young" blood in the department, but without the problems of being sued for age discrimination. Must admit, there are some hygiene issues with the older generation!. Any ideas?

[rojash]

Well as you seem to be in the minority here, you could take the democratic option, and top yourself. This would probably inject a measure of cheerfulness into their lives, and perhaps stimulate them to new heights.

[kazminx]

well lets hope that when you are that age your manager doesn't think that of you. i too was a manager in a large office and i welcomed the life experience of the 'older' workers but i must admit, its nice to have a balance in the age groups.

[Postdog]

Well what I'd do is.....oh rats, gotta go and pee again! - sorry, once you pass 50 your bladder has a mind of it's own. I'll be back...

[kazza12345]

its really odd, because i would say on the whole, older employees are much more reliable than younger ones, have a better work ethic and at least turn up on time!. I would have thought you would want your workforce to have more older than younger people. Or is this just a wind-up?

[ali_alic]

Bear in mind the saying "One day you'll know as little as your elders!!" Very true

[Pippa68]

Only another 20 years and you will be 'dead wood' too ~ what a comforting thought, eh whippersnapper?

And boy..time doesn't half fly by while you are enjoying yourself.

[Yorky Lass]

Am I glad I don't work for you. I'd be classed as dead wood. I am the second oldest on the section. The younger ones, your age, come to me for computer advise because I know more than they do, having taken time to teach myself. It's easier for them to ask me than to work it out for themselves. My attendance and sickness record is far better than their's and I don't smell either !!!
With your attitude you are in the wrong job. Certainly not management material.

[compman]

Hi Scanning - Just checked the calendar because I thought it might be April Fools Day.

Even so, you are just trying to wind up the over 55s,aren't you?

I work for a large building society, and they allow their staff to work up to the age of 75, if that's what they want.

I still think your entry is a joke, but if not, then heaven help your staff. You don't deserve to be a manager, just re-read the answers you've been given here and ask yourself 'Is there something wrong with me?' The answer has got to be 'Yes'.

Surely in the 21st century no decent firm allows people like you to become a manager. Exactly what are you managing, stationery cupboard operations, maybe?

This new 'young' blood you want, they wouldn't be aged around 18 to 20 and of the female variety, would they?

Anyhow 'scanning' you've had your fun with us, come clean and let us know you were having a joke with us, and we'll laugh with you, not at you.

Got to go now to check on my stock of Brut. (Ask your dad if you didn't get that remark).

[compman]

Hi Scanning (again).

I've just noticed your entry headed 'Greed'.

I think now you could be female - so how is it, one minute you're uptight over a packet of biscuits that wasn't shared around the office, and the next you are now the operations manager that is trying to get rid of the over 55s in 'your' office.

You appear to be more upset over a packet of biscuits than the possibility of getting rid of staff. I don't think you're for real!!

I'm now more convinced than ever that you are sticking these entries in as a joke to see what action you provoke.

[maxximus]

good eye compman, but would suggest you lose the brut and switch to old spice laddie (snicker)

[daleroy]

if you are not just fooling around I would like to know how old is your boss

[spinchimp]

Scanning is either a p!sstaker or a kn*b. Either way he is not worth responding to.

[Scanning]

I can assure you I am not a p**staker as you put it not am I a knob!. I was after constructive comments which "some" of you have given and I thank you. Unfortunately "spinchimp" is a sad lonely retard with nothing better to say and scours these forums hurling abuse while wiping the dribble from his chin.

[bookermel]

Oh scanning, grow up, first sandles then biscuits, now culling! what next out and out accusations of B.O. Maybe you're just a bully working your way up, or just a prat!

[Xavier X]

Scanning,
Interesting that your question was posted 24 hours ago and has prompted so much response - are those responding under 55? - in which case stick with your current staff as they're obviously working rather than cruising the internet - if the respondents are over 55 then there's your first method for clearing out the dead wood. On the serious side there seems to be only one way to tackle this without ending up in court - performance management (business-speak for "getting rid of people you don't want around"). With the older generation simply introducing a new work method will do the trick. Devise something that tackles an existing problem in a new way, brief all your staff giving sound reasons why this needs to be tackled and set some realistic but challenging targets. Monitor individual performance against these targets and start moving the OAPs through your disiplinary process, they'll be walking their zimmer frames towards the dole office in no time and you can get in some fit new blood. Job done.

[Scanning]

Xavier X, thank you for your helpful and very constructive comments. Brilliant way of dealing with the issue I think. I'm not entirely sure of the age group who have responded to my post, but as i already said, some have been handy, others not so constructive as they all think this is a wind up.
I am in the process of changing a few things already that could possibly test the "dead wood" but will keep a open mind with their capabilities. The hygiene issue can easily be resolved, we even have showers on site with our gym so gently persuation and blackmail could well well

[Scanning]

*work well*

[spinchimp]

You are a total tosser.

[Scanning]

thanks spinchimp..... that was such a constructive answer aswell!, good to see there are still some funny people on here to lighten the mood even if your vocabulary isn't too great and brain cells amount to the same as your testicles.