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[Britney_UsA]

I am in a dilemma...my bf has cheated on me 4months ago..i was devastated and kicked him out...now he has come back sayin that he has changed and he will never do it again....i never want 2 feel that way again but what should i do..

[woofgang]

Obviously how big a cheat was it? was this the only time? are you SURE??? then dump his worthless ass

[Britney_UsA]

he cheated with my friend and it had been a 1 off he said it didnt mean nething

[WaldoMcFroog]

I've been the cheatee (rather than cheater) too and it's not easy.

People can and do make mistakes, but there are some that can only be allowed to happen once, and this is one of them. If you're genuinely sure it won't happen again and it's what you want, then I would suggest you meet your ex somewhere neutral and tell him in no uncertain terms what the consequences of further straying will be. You should also make a point of letting him know how badly your trust has been damaged.

I would be inclined to end the meeting by going home alone - you don't want him to think that just because you want to give it another try it means he's forgiven for having been such a wretched t*rd in the first place. But it's a fine line and you can't punish someone for ever if you want to be with them. The only other thing to say is that if his promises turn out to be empty, you have the strength to walk away and not look back.

[Cathy]

Do you believe him? Has he done anything to show you he has changed? Ultimately it depends on how you feel about him. If you do decide to give it another go just take it very slowly and let him prove himself. Just remember that you're in charge of this situation and you can make the rules (within reason). He may make you feel lousy again, but you take that risk whenever you are in a relationship.

[xyzzy@bok]

Just an opinion; leopard don't change spots / if it didn't mean anything neither did you (to him).

[Britney_UsA]

Thank u so much guys u have really helped me 2 clear my head.....i think im goin 2 give hime 1 more chance but really on trial and anything starts happening again..he's out....i just hope he don't read this..... :0)

[Moog]

Do I know you Britney?.. I cheated on my gf 4 months ago.. she kicked me out... now we're talking about getting back together.... scarey!

[dodgymanc]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?state=thre
ads&board=health.sex&&sort=T The address off the BBC Relationships message board, there are loads of helpful people on there who give you loads of advice, if i were you id ask them. they know a thing or two! But i should tell you it also doubles up as a sexual health messageboard so dont be surprised to see weird things on there!

[woodpam]

Do you see a future with him Britney? Has he got the same ideals as you and want roughly the same things out of life? Most relationships end with a break up for one reason or another or we'd all end up with our first love. Perhaps it really was time to finish it anyway. If the infidelity was the only reason you split up and you are sure it won't happen again, fair enough, you decide if you have another go at it. If the infidelity happened because basically he is a person who cares about a bit of fun more that hurting you, perhaps you might be better moving on. You've already done the hard bit. It's quite common for someone to have a relationship where they want to be monogamous, then miss their single life, do "something wrong" to get out of the relationship, live a single life, miss a warm one to one relationship, go back to a monogamous relationship. It's a "grass is greener on the other side" mindset and very hard on the innocent bystanders. If you have him back because it's a more comfortable option than being independent and open to trying another relationship, maybe you will have cheated yourself.

[Britney_UsA]

im not sure what i want ne more because he has really screwed my head up. He sed he wants us 2 get married and put this behind us but is marriage a good option to choose with sum 1 who did that 2 me....i love him but i dont know if thats enough...theres no trust but i dont know if he could get that back.......thank u so much every1 who posted an answer on here u r all soooo helpful... ;0) thanx guys x

[Lennon]

Hey Britney. You don't say how long you have been with this guy for, and now he's talking marriage? Did he mention marriage before he cheated or is this his way of trying to lure you back into some security? I've always said that if you don't have trust in a relationship, then you pretty much have nothing. How are you going to feel the next time he goes out with the boys? I bet you'll be biting your nails to your knuckles wondering if he is where he say he is. I think xyzzy said it best - if he says it didn't mean anything to him, then why did he do it? No matter how much alcohol or whatever is involved, he still knew what he was doing - and with one of your friends!!!!! But all the same, if you love him and you think you'd be more miserable by getting rid of him, then don't shoot yourself in the foot. Give him a chance and see how it goes, but keep your barriers raised. I hope it works out for the best for you. There ain't nothing worse than the pain from the opposite sex. Keep your chin up. :)

[Doni]

From a married person: Better to break up now, move on, be picky, and find a faithful one than to get married, take the chance of it happening again, and being suspicious for the rest of your life.