first love

[lord molly]

is there a name given to the abnormaly strong feeling towards a person after you have split up.



my friend max has just split up with his first girlfriend and is totally obsessed with her. dont know if this is becaose he has never reli loved anybody before, or weather he shud grow up and get over her.

[wonder years]

yes they say you allways forever carry a torch for your first love ahhha

[juddlinski]

I believe the term is '**********'.

[robertson]

Although 'carrying a torch' is a correct expression, the main issue may well be rejection. Rather than obsessing about the girl, which can become worrying and even alarming, Max would do much better to consider why he feels the rejection so badly. As this was his first love, presumably he's still young and has plenty of opportunities to encounter many other young ladies in future. He won't want to hear that while he's obsessing about this one. But he should realise that, the more she senses his inability to cope without her, the more she'll want to distance herself from him. A good analogy is wanting to retrieve a ball from a pool of water - the more you make waves, the further it moves away. Keeping the calm (or keeping calm in Max's case) is the only chance of the ball floating back to you. Also, in primitive terms, ultimately women want to sense that a partner has the strength (mainly inner strength) to bring up their children. If Max wants any chance at all of wooing her back, he needs to show her that strength. And the best way he can show that is by proving that he can stand on his own two feet and not depend on her for his enjoyment of life. It's easier said than done but it has to be done.