IKEA-a-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[DaSwede]

When interacting with foreigners (foreigners from my Swedish point of view) I can't help but noticing that many of them seem to find IKEA a bit ...comical? Why is that? Is it the self-assembly thing, and if so, is that unique to IKEA?

[B00]

Hey hello DaSwede, long time no chat, how the devil are you?

Mr Boo refuses to visit IKEA let alone buy anything from it, he says it's over priced, badly designed tat.

[whiffey]

Because IKEA, having lured you in, immediately present you with a staircase UP. Then when you've climbed the stairs they imprison you in a maze of partitions so you have a claustrophobic fit trying to find the exit. Then they stick you into queues over 50 yardslong. Finally they offer you 30p hotdogs made of sawdust wrapped in rubber.

[shaneystar2]

Because the place is a nightmare to navigate and always rammed to the gunnels .
I nearly had a nervous breakdown the one and only time I ever visited Ikea.Thought I was going to be stuck in there never to be seen again. Awful place .
I think it's the names of the stuff we find comical too Kramfors sofas....sounds like something you take for indigestion.
Flatpack isn't just unique to IKEA though ...lots of stuff is flatpack nowadays.Argos have a fair selection of it too.
And you know what the Germans say about Ikea.
Idioten Kaufen Eben Alles :)

[jake-the-peg]

I think they help that along with their rather comical naming conventions

Candles called Flikka or whatever.

Always tempts me to go around with fake name tags and label the chests of draws Krapi or Shoddi

[jake-the-peg]

Incidently while I'm talking about IKEA chests of drawers - hardboard bottoms!

Hardboard when the unit is that price - how much more would it cost the tight ******s to use ply?

That's the trouble with IKEA never mind the quality feel the style!

[B00]

Yup Jake- that was Mr Boo's gripe (well one of em) with the furniture too, the hardwood drawer bottoms.

[jno]

oh yes, I have a cupboard called Billy. Not as bad as a Toyota called Cedric, but it does sound a bit odd. The shops do get very crowded - I believe if they don't get crowded they get closed down, they demand a very high footfall - but I don't really know many people who object to the designs (I don't know Mr B00); Scandinavian design has long had a name for being stylish and uncluttered. They used to have a slogan saying 'Chuck out the chintz.'

But it can be hard work to assemble, and things do get left out. Last time I bought a small chest of drawers I opened them to find one was blue and the rest were white. And it takes a very long time to queue at the Returns office, possibly because a lot of people have things to return.

[jake-the-peg]

Hmm, never had a problem assembling any of it but then I remember my father's woes with "Made For Idiots" self assembly in the 70's at least things have moved on since then.

Thing is you kind of have to make it up in situe as some of it isn't really strong enough to appreciate being moved about a bit.

Bit of a case of disposable furniture.

Mind you to be fair some of the solid wood stuff's very robust and can be quite reasonable.

I think you just have to be real careful about buying from them and look very carefully at how it's made rather than just waltzing in and going "Lovely I'll have one of those and two of those"

[fredpuli47]

They are a nightmare . First, though they claim to have altered, they still require you to go on a set path around the shop. You can see what you want from way off but you can't get to it without being forced to walk past loads of other stuff They must think we are idiots. They certainly treat us like sheep.

Second getting the stuff from the delivery point at the back is another performance in itself, which you just don't need after the ordeal of being in the shop and ordering what you want and then paying.

Third, you're doing well if what you get is complete with all parts matching and all the parts there. Getting the omissions and rectifications made means a return to the shop:what fun!

Fourth, the stuff looks good but , in reality, is of poor quality. It bears no comparison to German 'flat packs' which I bought in France, or an American (yes, American!) one which I bought on an office supply store in England

And yes, the names are silly and absurd to British ears.

[weeal]

I cannot stop laughing at Whiffeys answer lol

[tiggerblue10]

The Marabou chocolate is nice though.

[dundurn]

Just thought this list of gripes need a small push in the other direction.

Yes the stores have a standardised layout and they even display a plan of it on the wall and give you a track you can walk along. If you want to go straight to somewhere you can - there are crossways everywhere. On the other hand, if you want to make sure you don't miss anything, if you have ever wandered through a store looking aimlessly for the one display of whatever you went in for and find yourself back at the front door empty-handed, a little bit of Swedish rigour begins to look like a pretty good idea.

They give you a tape measure in case you forgot to bring one and a pencil and paper to make notes. Obviously a store that's this helpful is deeply suspicious.

I have never opened an Ikea pack and found myself short of a screw or a fixing. I did once open up a flatpacked chair and found that one of the joint sockets was partially blocked by a bad glue job. I did consider getting out a hammer and chisel or maybe a drill but chickened out because I could see myself making a real mess of things if I got it wrong. One telephone call later they had arrangesd a courier delivery of a replacement (at their expense) and the offer to do what I liked with the faulty chair. Out came the hammer and chisel and we had five chairs for the price of four.

Basically, if you don't like it, don't buy it. If you can get better value for money, great, I'm glad for you. If you insist on turning up when the rest of the world does, yes, you will find the car parks full to bursting. Funny that isn't it? All those poor souls doomed to dissatifaction still rolling in every weekend! Wonder why they're busy and MFI isn't?

[jno]

yes, I like the pencils and tape measures too; imagine a British store being so helpful. But I have definitely had problems opening packs and finding things wrong or missing (not a lot, but more mistakes than I would consider acceptable in my own work.)

[Lil O'lady]

The trick is: work out what you want from the catalogue - go in by the exit with a trolley or loader - find the nearest 'info point' and ask the person to tell you where to find XYZ.
Don't ever go to browse. Ever.

[DaSwede]

Oh god, I'm laughing so hard I've got tears in my eyes. I have to admit the sceneries you paint seem all too familiar in every single respect. As for the names, they're the subject of mockery even here.

have a go

Thanks, all, I'll treasure this thread. Keep'em coming!

(BOO, the whipround you started to buy me a computer really did work. No not thanks to the stingy b's involved ;-) - more on a cosmic level. So I do have my own laptop now - thanks ever so much! Is there anything you'd like, just let me know and I'll see if I can start a cosmic whipround for you in return.)

[rabbitygirl]

Very interesting to see the Ikea thing recycled again here. I agree with dundurn. My friend told me she had never had a complaint about anything she bought from Ikea and I have none either.

As mentioned before I have furnished my bungalow with the stuff. Its easy to put together, value for money, looks nice (no really).

I have had quality furniture in the past. Dark wood stuff which cost an arm and a leg which, if you want a new look has to be kept because of the cost, or replaced before its had full use.

So I can change the look of my place on a whim without much expense. And if we decide to go abroad to live, which we hope to in the future, the things I value and want to keep can go in a few boxes, and I dont have to worry about treasured pieces of furniture.

[dot.hawkes]

Ikea!!!!!!!!!!!! lol Ikea Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you mean Ikea!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????? lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh give over, nowt wrong with MI5

[Robinia]

throws a dish of meatballs at dot > > >
control yourself woman!

my name's Robinia & I've never been to Ikea...and after reading this lot I'm cancelling my place on the Biddybus trip there....

[jno]

MI5? What are they doing in Ikea? Lurking behind the hardboard with spy cameras, I'll be bound.

[DaSwede]

Thanks rabbitygirl, much appreciated! The rest of yous can just fight it out amongst yourselves, he he he.