Can I date someone 10 years younger?

[SweetEnglish]

I am hoping that some nice person out there can help me!  I am currently 26 and I run a youth club in England.  At the youth club, we run an Assitant Leader scheme.  This is for the older and more mature members of our youth to get involved to help the Leaders - exactly what it says I suppose.  Still, there is one 16 year old I have drawn particularly close to for a variety of reasons.  I would not even consider asking her out before her 18th birthday - even if it is just under 2 years away.  Is it acceptable for me to do so?

[undercovers]

well she is a child in your care, this makes it a bit creepy, wait until she has grow up and left this scheme of your then if you feel the same way aproach her but don't be suprised if she thinks of you in a different light - as an older brother / authority typed figure. Sorry this isn't a very positive post but i think that no good will come from you trying to create a "loving" relationship out of an responsible adult & child relationship

[bernardo]

do you know how she feels about you?  what are the reasons that have drawn you closer?

[woofgang]

 I agree with undercovers. I don't think that it is proper for you to approach her while she is still a member of the youth club and your club ot its affiliated organisation has probably got a rule against it

[SweetEnglish]

Thats just the point.  NOTHING and I mean absolutely nothing would happen until she is 18.  I should point out that our youth club is 9-14 years old and she is only still around as she is on the leadership team.  Does this make a difference?

Ps:  Thank you all for your replies...I am so confused!

[bernardo]

I did not post the answer above in my name, which is obviously an impostor.

[Ouisch]

If you WAIT (as you said you would) until she is 18, and your feelings toward her haven't changed, I don't see a problem in asking her out.  As it stands right now, even if emotionally she's far more mature than 16, she's still just a teenager, and certainly eyebrows will be raised, wondering why a 26-year-old man wants to date a kid.  Once she's legal age, you may get a few snarky comments about "robbing the cradle", but the relationship won't have the same sinister undertones it would have now.

[Yinzer]

I agree with other things stated here, but would just like to add that even when she's 18 and you're 28 I don't think that's much of a deal. I was 18 when I dated a 25 year old who is now my husband. Also the older you get the less age matters. It is kinda fun to look in the opposite direction, like when he was 17 I was only 10! Don't worry too much, just wait and see if you even feel the same in 2 years. Cheers!

[apricot2]

It would be improper for you to have a relationship when you are in a position of power no matter how old she was.  Your organisation, quite rightly, could take disciplinary action.  You must separate out your professional and personal feelings.  Even University lecturers are not expected to have relationships with their students.  If you feel strongly enough you should perhaps consider changing your job.

[secretspirit]

I think you'll find that even if you wait 2 years, people will make comments about how you were waiting for her to turn 18. Also you will probably give away without realising signs that you fancy her beforehand. Are you sure that if she starts flirting with you before she's 18 you won't respond in kind because it's hard to resist that kind of attention even if you think you won't do anything for a while. Like the others have said, you could end up in a sticky situation.

[Fat Boy]

Sorry mate, assuming this isn't a wind-up, if you even consider asking such a question as far as I'm concerned you shouldn't be anywhere near a youth club