Do You Think About Death A Lot?

[AngelNicole]

I think about death a lot. Everyday. I can't stop thinking about it. I had breast cancer 7 years ago when I was 26 and I worry about the cancer returning and dying at an early age. Then I worry that if I do live to be be of old age, since I don't have any children, there will be no one to take care of me when I am older. That I will have to go into a nursing home being abruised and mistreated by the CNA's there. Do you ever worry about these things? Do you think a lot about death?

[Old_Geezer]

I think about it a bit more than is probably good for me, but usually in the form of one of the big questions regarding who and what we are, the nature of existence, that sort of thing.

I think your concern is maybe an inability to live in and enjoy the present. Is there something else that troubles you and puts you in this sort of frame of mind ?

[Baldric]

No, not at all, I was seriously ill 4 yrs ago, had heart surgery, it reminded me of my mortality, but then I got over it, when your time is up that's it, but no point in being paranoid about it, it will happen to us all in due course
no point in ruining your life worrying about death, just get on with it.

[emmie]

i do sometimes, in times of enormous pain and stress a lot more, my feeling would be that you are severely depressed, and that you need to speak with a doctor to get some help. The cancer you had has been the catalyst, that would make anyone think of dying, because that is part and parcel of being human, our own mortality, but as i know, ruminate on it, then it will get the better of you, see a doctor, and get someone to talk to

[Mamyalynne]

Angel , having read a few of your posts over the last few days and things you have endured so far in your life - it seems to me that you need to allow yourself to be happy, like yourself and keep the negativity to a minimum.


I rarely dwell on death, if someone I know dies or I read a horrible story, then maybe, but I do not let it overwhelm me. After all, no matter how much we think of it, it will certainly happen one day - and I am sure your day is a long long way off - live and be happy.

[Jennykenny]

The best advice I ever got was, "If it happens you will be able to deal with it."
I too spend endless time worrying about what is going to happen. Take a deep breath and believe that you can tackle it, if it happens.

[ChillDoubt]

Nope, it's inevitable so I don't even think about it.
Live each day as if it were your last, as they say life is not a dress rehearsal.

[pixie373]

I agree with mamya. I think you're having a tough time at the moment and this is a sign of your general anxiety. Speak to your GP about everything as soon as you can and get back on the up xx

[jennyjoan]

I sorta worry about the split second between life and death as I have seen so much of it. And also want no pain

[chrissa1]

Other than, I am nearer the end of my life than the beginning, no not really.

[kloofnek]

I think about it an awful lot..I worry about my children and grandchildren...they rely on me such a lot..I am so glad I wake up in the morning..at least another day.I am now 68 ,so many people I know passing away.although I know it is not a great age nowadays...the worst is...I feel so young ...I want to live forever...do not want to miss all the things that will happen in the future,

[FredPuli43]

No. But you worry about uncertainties. Death is certain, but you worry about when and how it will occur. Someone who is told that they have only a set time to live; six months, a year; does not worry and that's because they have a certainty, or can be certain enough. Very old people don't worry either, they are, perhaps, prepared for death by nature, by ageing.

Worrying about that which you cannot change is pointless. And you can't change the things that you are worrying about; any one can happen but you cannot change that, so what's the point in worrying about it ? Out of interest, alcoholics have that worry pattern; if one thing bad does not happen, then what bad thing will happen in consequence of that, and if that second thing doesn't happen....and so on ad infinitum. That's why Alcoholics Anonymous meetings end with the "Serenity Prayer": "God ,grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference" . There is some wisdom in that !

You too choose to worry about several things, not all compatible; you worry about dying young, yet worry about dying old if you don't die young. Well, please look at that prayer again. It helped me. It may help you.

[kloofnek]

That is a lovely prayer Fredpuli..thank you

[emmie]

Fred, i don't agree with you on part of your points, having been with my o/h, and any number of friends who had terminal illnesses. But depression can make one ruminate on it a lot more, even at a young age, i would most assuredly get some professional help

[mibn2cweus]

I consider any moment wasted on thinking of dying, time better invested in the process of living my life. Preparing for all possible eventualities of the future should never be at the expense of regretting what you might have or should have done. Let dying take care of itself. Take care of the living instead, and that means enjoying what time you have instead of wasting one precious moment dreading the inevitable.

[boxtops]

Not often, angel - but you are only 33, there is plenty of time left in your life for your circumstances to change considerably before your time comes. You may yet have children, loads of time left..... and don't tar all care homes with the same brush, there are some excellent ones - and if, like my mum who died at 94, you keep relatively well and able, you may not have to go into a home at all. I know you have been in hard places, but if you have a will to start to look for the small good things in life - even now the lighter evenings and the bulbs starting to flower - it can and will get better for you.

[askyourgran]

I think about it more now that I have less life expectancy. In my twenties I thought I was immortal. The fact that you have suffered a cancer scare will of course have given you pause to reflect on life and your fears for the future. I had a wonderful sister-in-law who had recurring cancer for 29 years before she died aged 78. She took life as it came, she worked and did a little cleaning job for a local church which she didn't even worship at. She was married and lived at home until she died, she was also the main carer for her mother who was 98 when she died. Try not to look on the dark side, be confident now that you are well don't waste time on negative thoughts. Do you have friends or family to confide in?

[Kiki-frog]

I never worry about death. I think it was Peter Pan who described it as "an awfully big adventure". I don't want to die, obviously, but it's not something to be feared.

However, I do worry about old age, pain, incontinence, illness, and no longer being able to fend for myself. Like you, I have no children - two lovely step-children, but no biological children. But even if I did, why assume that they would look after me when I'm elderly? Nursing homes are full of people with children who only visit once in a blue moon.

There have been a lot of scare stories in the media recently about abuse of elderly people in care homes. But remember that it's scare stories sell newspapers. How often do we read news stories about carers who stay late at work, unpaid, because they've formed a bond with someone and want to hear the rest of the story they were being told, or want to make sure that they go to sleep safely? Never. Stories like that don't make the news, but I honestly believe that they reflect the truth more than the tales of abuse. Both my parents and one very dear friend ended their lives in three different care homes, and I know for a fact that all of them received the best of care and compassion in their last few years.

AngelNicole, it's very hard not to dwell on dark thoughts when you've had a brush with death yourself, but I really don't think there's anything to fear in dying. And I honestly believe that the stories of abuse of the elderly reflect a very small minority of experiences. Please try to stay positive - easy for me to say ok, but...... please?

[Kiki-frog]

PS Fred Puli's prayer has got to be one of the wisest things ever!

[Caribeing]

No too busy living!!