Helping An Elderly Neighbour

[susanxx]

I have only lived in my house for 2 years and most of the neighbours are over 80 years old. I was brought up to respect my elders and be polite but now I'm in a bit of a quandry. My 87yo neighbour has just gone in hospital for a hip operation and has entrusted me with his house keys and given me £50, with the comment that will be more when he comes home! All I have done for him is get his car insurance for £279 instead of the renewal quote of £700 and now I'm the best thing since slice bread. Also any letters of a business nature he asks me to peruse as he only lost his wife at Xmas and it seems obvious she dealt with all the paperwork. Society today seems to mistrust people that help others thinking there just has to be an ulterior motive and having just met his stepdaughter I think she is already thinking along those lines. I have put the envelope with the £50 in a drawer and have no intention of using it but has anyone any ideas how to deal with this situation as all I was doing was trying to be a good neighbour and help him out?

[murraymints]

say exactly that to him

[Cloverjo]

Tell the stepdaughter that you were glad to help him out with sorting out his insurance and explaining his business letters, but that you are glad that she is around to help out too and that perhaps she might like to do a bit more of it.

[hc4361]

Hope this doesn't stop you from being a good neighbour and friend to the old chap. In respect of the £50, when he comes home give it back to him and tell him that thankfully all was well while he was in hospital and you didn't need the money for any emergency in his home, such as a broken window.

[kalimera]

hc4361 gave the best answer

[naomi24]

Give him his money back face to face and tell him straight. You're helping because you care and you're happy to help. Don't complicate the association with fabricated excuses. That just creates confusion.

[Ann]

I agree, just say to him - preferably in front of suspicious step-daughter that you don't need paying just for being a kind neighbour (you can add perhaps there may be an occasion when I may need your help in looking after my home etc, so in that way we can help each other)

[susanxx]

Thanks for all the comments guys. The stepdaughter lives some way off and it is obvious that she only comes around to make sure her inheritance is still intact. I can see that she will be at his home when he returns from hospital so I think she and I may have some things to say to each oher and shall be making it quite clear that I am only being helpful to her stepdad and am not interested in any of his money. I am happy to get any shopping he wants(I already do this for some of the other neighbours) and any others things that I am capable of. Whatever she has to say I shall continue to help my neighbour, mere sticks and stones!

[pixie373]

You carry on, Susan. Good for you. I might advise you leave a notebook there and if he gives you any money for shopping etc, you write it down with the date and leave a receipt. For your own protection.

[Ann]

Brilliant idea Pixie - that will show her! Well done susan we could do with more kind people in this world like you x

[mikey4444]

Carry on doing what you are doing susanxx ! This chap obviously needs some help and you seem just the person. I hope that when I am his age, I will have a kind neighbour like you.

[susanxx]

Thank you for your comments guys, I have just had a phone call from my neighbour in the hospital and he is doing well and should be home next week and I will continue to help him where I can, because I can and without any reward!

[bunkmoreland]

Nicely done Susan:-). I used to have an elderly neighbour,who, though she was still capable of going to the shops,liked me to get her paper,cos it meant I would then go in for a wee chat each day and that meant more to her than the paper.As she didn't invite just anyone into her home,it pleased me that she trusted me! Win win situation;-)

[pusskin]

Hi Susan. i wished i had an elderly neighbour living very close to me, as i miss the old neighbour who passed away a few yrs ago.
I loved popping in to see her on accasions to have a natter with her when my other very caring neighbour wasnt around to help her out.
I think i still miss the oldies from when I was a home carer.
keep up the good work, your doing a grand job being helpfull to others x

[susanxx]

Thanks Pusskin for your comments. I must admit its causing me to be a little tired as he expects me to go around twice a day, it breaks his day up he says. Obviousy it does as no-one else goes near him and phoning is hard work as he is severely deaf. He appears to be getting a little despondent as he seems to be expecting more movement from his hip operation than he is getting but I am concerned that the hospital has not given him proper instruction for excercise and he is frightened of moving it too much in case something goes wrong. I'll keep doing what I can and hope than once he is able to drive he will be off on his travels.

[Jeza]

Mic did exactly what you do Susan, got the papers every day for several neighbours. Went in for a chat, did a bit of shopping. Now Mic is ill they stay away in droves. Such is life. Your neighbour is lucky to have you.

[lady-janine]

sorry to hear that but maybe your neighbours just don't know how best to break what they consider to some ice. just a thought.