Are Some Students Over Indulged By Their Parents?

[dave50]

My teenage daughter who is at college recently informed me that there are a few girls at her college who have had new or nearly new cars bought and insured by their parents as an 18th birthday present. Also I have heard of parents re-mortgaging their homes to pay for their offspring's university fees and living costs. Now I cannot afford to buy her a car and there is no way I would re-mortgage to pay for her university. Are these teenagers way too pampered or am I being mean? What are your thoughts?

[Hopkirk]

Yes, way too pampered.

At most buy them a student railcard.

[Sqad]

\\\\ Are these teenagers way too pampered or am I being mean? \\

Too bl.ody right that some, if not the majority if teenagers and University students are over indulged.........

A car?...a CAR?...they are at university to study, not swan about in a car, which they can buy later with their own money.

[Hopkirk]

It's not fair on the student as they will end up staying sober to drive their friends around.

[RandyMarsh]

If you have the money and nothing else to spend it on then why not?

[Hypognosis]

A car plus insurance, which must be into four figures for an 18-year old, strikes me as extravagant, showy, even. They should be domiciled within walking or bicycling distance of lectures. The exercise would do them good (blood circulation to the brain, ho, ho).

Whereas remortgaging to pay tuition fees seems like a major self-sacrifice, to me. Note: people who are loaded would just pay cash and not fork out all that extra in interest.

We are a desperately competitive society, these days. Not yet an out-and-out meritocracy (see: zero wage internships) but many are equipping their offspring for something like that.

[gness]

Dave.....if you were really well off and could afford to buy her a car, would you?

My daughter had to travel across the city, often at night, and used the unreliable bus service when she was first at uni.
Then the lass living down the road was snatched, raped and murdered on the way home from the pub that all the students in that area used.

I gave my daughter my car and paid the running costs until she was working.

[gness]

Hypo.....sometimes a split campus means a distance too far to walk or cycle. Yes they can bus.....if the service is good enough.

[ummmm]

My son's 17 year old GF got a car before she'd even passed her test.

She's spoilt rotten by her parents but she's a beautiful person.

[ummmm]

And my son takes complete advantage of the fact she has a car.

He does give her petrol money though....

[melv16]

I bought my daughter a car for £800 when she moved to Leeds. It was nicked and she got £1,400 back from the insurance. She got another car for the same price and could afford to tax and insure it for a year... Result:)

[woofgang]

I think whether they are pampered or not depends on the circs of the parents. Some people are better off than others and will give their kids bigger gifts.

[jim360]

I got £20 a month until I was 20. :(

[ummmm]

My parents weren't wealthy, but my grand parents were. I got to go on every school trip and used to take a wad of cash with me. It was drummed into me to be grateful.

My granddad also put down the deposit on my first house.

In later life it was us (me mainly) that looked after him. You can give a kid everything they desire as long as you teach them to appreciate it.

[ABSpareEditor]

My parents very generously paid for my tuition fees at uni so that I wouldn't have any student loans, and they also paid for my car insurance for my first year of driving (I lived at home and commuted to uni each day).

My dad worked very hard doing overtime at a job he didn't like (he always did, to make sure we had nice things and could go on lovely holidays). I'm extremely grateful for everything my parents did and I think their support put me in a much better position than I otherwise would have been, and gave me a good head start financially when entering adulthood. So if the parents can afford to do it and they want to, and the kid is appreciative, I think it's a great, supportive thing to do.

[ummmm]

I didn't go to uni but my dad very generously bought me and my mates drinks at the weekend :-)

[Sqad]

Editor

\\\\ So if the parents can afford to do it and they want to, and the kid is appreciative, I think it's a great, supportive thing to do.\\

You have missed out a couple of "ifs" in that sentence, which would add up to a lot of "ifs."

In the 50's and 60's there were a lot of rich families sending their sons so to University, but very few......two in our year of 65 students, had cars.

endulged AND pampered.

[ummmm]

Sqad...I was born in the 70's and hardly anyone had a car.

[gness]

So, Sqad.....you consider my daughter indulged and pampered....fair enough. But if so........ what harm has that done?

[Sqad]

gness.....

\\\ But if so........ what harm has that done?\\\

No idea, as I don't know your daughter, but the last person i would ask for an opinion, would be the mother.........or indeed any other parent.

[gness]

Exactly....you don't know my daughter..... yet you consider her indulged and pampered.....

Does your method for bringing up children produce good, caring adults....always?
Does mine always produce whatever you're thinking helping them out at uni produces?