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What Do You Think Of Public Marriage Proposals? in The AnswerBank: Society & Culture
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What Do You Think Of Public Marriage Proposals?

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dave50 | 12:28 Sun 03rd Mar 2024 | Society & Culture
19 Answers

I think they are wrong and unfair to the recipient, putting them in a position where they may feel pressured into saying yes. It may even be seen as controlling. 

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It's a matter of choice, and entirely dependent on the people involved.

My wife is a very private person, and if I had proposed to her in public, she would have been utterly mortified, and never forgiven me.

However, if the proposer is as sure as he or she can be that their partner is going to agree, and will not be upset by the manner in which the proposal is offered, then it's fine.

But as you say, there are other times when the recipient may feel embarassed or even coerced into agreement, which cannot ever be a good thing.

I think you have to assess each case on its merits, it may work for some, but it's not a standard model to follow for everyone.

I think anyone planning on carrying out a public proposal must be 100% sure the recipient will answer in the affirmative. I think most are, to be honest, though there are many examples on youtube of things not going according to plan. I wonder just how many of these videos are 'set-ups', though?

With the same jaundiced eye of the 40 year veteran that I use for all aspirational public displays.

'It'll be different for us' they think.😅

Here are some;

youtube.com/watch?v=BdZgl3zJR8s&t=41s

 

Soz;

 

 

Hate them.  Look at me! Look at me!

Ken - // I think anyone planning on carrying out a public proposal must be 100% sure the recipient will answer in the affirmative. I think most are, to be honest, though there are many examples on youtube of things not going according to plan. //

Indeed, a presumed acceptance is just that - there is no guarentee.

I remember the early days of 'This Is Your Life' and I'm almost sure it went out 'live' in those days.

It could be assumed that anyone surprised by Eamon Andrews and 'the big red book' would be happy with it.

Not so - Richard Gordon, author of the comedy 'Doctor' books was livid, and refused point blank to cooperate. He was eventually pursuaded, but it was touch and go!

When I proposed to my wife it was one of the most intimate moments of our lives and we treasure the memory.  Such a private event should not be for public consumption and tictock clicks.

In my view

I have an Irish friend who was visiting Time Square NY when a load of SWAT style police officers surrounded her, shouting at her etc one approached and then got down on one knee took his helmet off and proposed - of course it was her long term boyfriend. 
he met the SWAT team whilst on an exchange and they offered to help him out!

I'm against all public displays of that which should be kept private

Most women I know would hate it. My wife would have fumed if I'd made a big public proposal. It's also crass to propose at someone else's wedding.

I would have hated it.  Neither of us proposed as such.  It was a sort of a joint decision in  a small intimate  Spanish restaurant  after drinking too much.   52 years ago.  

Ken - // Soz; //

I really enjoyed your clips link.

I was simultaniously liking the sarcasm of the voice-over, while thinking that he's quite right - why am I watching this nonsense!!

I was in the audience when Anthony Inglis's daughter was proposed to by her boyfiend.  It's quite nice to witness it when the outcome is good.

It's like everything, we're all different. We chatted at home about getting married and went and did it , no big deal, no big wedding. The next person wants memorable moments and grand celebrations, we're all different. 
The most important thing is that the person knows the person they are proposing to and whether or not they would appreciate such a sensational act. 

Much the same as us Maydup,  but we weren't living together.  We also just went off and got married with close family as witnesses.  Neither of us could bear the thought of walking up an aisle with an audience and in no way would I wear a wedding dress or carry a bunch of flowers. Yes we are all different.  

The first Mr pasta and I got married in church...basically to keep my family happy. Just a few relatives attended. Then a family meal out. I wore a hippy style cream dress and did carry a loose bouquet...and had flowers in my hair.

Second marriage was in a registry office...took 3 minutes. Followed by an all afternoon/evening party in our flat. I wore a silk dress...I still have it. No...it doesn't fit. Also no formal proposal...it just seemed to be the right next step.

A public proposal would be too embarrassing. May the floor open up and swallow me.

Pasta   Neither of us were remotely interested in marriage before that inebriated night.  Everyone was shocked when we got home.  

I think they are a great opportunity to get told to P off and informed in no uncertain terms that your intended would never consider somebody who would try to manipulate them and embarrass them in public, as their life partner, and to go get lost forever.

 

That surely is why folk try it, isn't it ? Because they're controlling S&M fans ?

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