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What Is The Normal Thing To Do In This Situation. 

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bluefortress | 00:11 Mon 25th Mar 2024 | Society & Culture
10 Answers

Say you had been a member of a sports club and had trained regularly for years with 4 people, this faded a little towards the end with people working/ different hobbies so you didn't have much contact with them. Apart from a guy from the group who you had started to date (the group knew about this vaguely).

One of the ladies was getting married and sent a wedding invitation to the guy with a plus 1 ie he could take one person. You didn't receive an invitation from her. She kept texting the guy/your bf asking who he was taking. Your bf wants to take you obviously

Do you go or would you not go as you didn't personally receive an invitation even though she has known you for years. 



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I would definitely go.

Question Author

Ok thanks Tomus 

You should go

Wedding couples don't have infinite budgets, churches (or registry offices) don't have an infinite number of pews/seats, reception venues don't have an infinite number of tables and chairs.  So, inevitably, there will always be some constraints upon the number of guests invited to a wedding (and/or to the reception afterwards).  Therefore it's not unusual for two people, who're roughly of similar standing with the bride or groom, to fall just either side of the cut-off point for invitations.

It would therefore be ridiculous (or should that be 'churlish'?) for someone to refuse to attend as a 'plus one' guest, just because he/she happened to have fallen slightly below the cut-off point to receive a personal invitation.

Your boyfriend got an invite + 1. His plus 1 doesn't need an invite as well. If he wants to take you, then you just go with him.


PS: 'Personal' invitees at weddings are often/usually expected to give gifts to the bride and groom, whereas 'plus one' guests (who might never have even met either the bride or groom) aren't.  So there's a definite benefit to attending on a 'plus one' basis 😉

Question Author

I guess, never thought of it that way Buen, you are right!

As Spider-Man one said with great status comes great responsibility. 

She is expecting you to be the + 1 and keeps asking to find out if this is correct, if you aren't she will probably then send you an invite. It's just a way of trying to reduce the great cost of a wedding so if you are the +1 go, I think she wants you there.

I don't see the issue. If someone with an invitation wants you be be their plus one, then accept or not, as you please. If they don't then you don't have an option. (Well, not a reasonable one.)

im with johnand chris.

i asked one of my friends to bring a specific person as their plus one to my wedding, which just meant i paid for 2 meals rather than 4

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