Differences in Personalities

[saguinaga]

I am an introvert and have been all my life. I am 27 years old , married with children. What is puzzling me is people have always judged me when they don't know me or they don't like me because I'm, "too quite". I don't like social situations and I am a better communicator when dealing one on one with people. I am frusterated that people don't except me for who I am. Does anyone have any input on this matter? please advise.

[skyep]

saguinaga - Yes, I find this to be true. I am very like you. I work & have to interact with people, but I am not comfortable in large groups of people. I find some people think you are a walk over because they have never really seen me be dominant. I am non confrontational, but if I have to stand up for myself then I do. The world is full of self inflated people, I see them for what they are. Of course, there are also people like us that have my respect as genuine people. I have given up trying to understand people, they are the ones with a problem!

[CheekyChops]

I don't have any input other than the fact that I am exactly the same. It used to bother me but the older I have got, the less I care about what other people think about me.

I am 38 now and couldn't give a t0ss, people either like me for who I am, or they don't.

And to be honest, since I have adopted this attitude, I have found myself being 'louder' naturally anyway - although to me I am still 'quiet', my mates would laugh at me if I tried to describe myself as such nowadays.

[Ldel1969]

I am 37 years old and have heard the very same things my entire life. "Too quiet" Is something I have heard a lot of as well. Once again, my is very situational as well. Yes, it is frustrating to be judged! I have been told that I come across as "rude, or stuck-up" I am glad to hear that I am not alone. In dealing with these type of people, I have found over the years, that one snotty, well-timed, snide remark will often make someone back down. I agree with Cheeky the "I don't care attitude" has worked the best

[wildwood]

Perhaps I am a bit 'quiet' too, but so many people talk such a lot of cr@p. Many will bring up the most boring subjects just so that they can engage someone in conversation. The worst is the typical loudmouth who usually try to make up for their celebral shortcomings by requiring everyone's attention to justify their existence.

Give me a conservative person any day.

[Carol Anne]

I much prefer reserved quiet people, they are generally more polite and considerate than the rest of us, I cannot stand so called extroverts who think we all love the sound of their voices as much as they do.

[mattie]

I'm like everyone else who has posted, it's nice to know I'm not the only one and as others have already said, at 40 I'm not about to change.

[sheila2155]

Hi i'm on my mums account and I am twelve so i'm still at school, I have the same thing too.
At school I don't talk much and nobody really talks to me because of this I have a lot of friends wer'e just not that close.
I saw this on a documentary once its "something" syndrome I can't really remember.
I suppose I just don't have enough confidence...
Could anybody help me into getting over it. Please it really upsets me when I see people talking loud and freely with my friends and I just can't get up the courage to do it myself.

[Octavius]

It is human nature to judge people often on appearances alone without even hearing a whisper. People who are (too) quiet can sometimes come across as moody, offish or snobby even though this is hardly ever the case. I find most people who are quiet are relatively contented listeners who don�t believe that silences should be filled with inane �hairdressers� natter.

You shouldn�t feel affronted as loud people are equally judged, as are dull people (often the loud ones)and IT consultants (just dull!), and not always in a favourable light. Merely the judgement is made and believed, on the assumption that you won�t dispute it. For all those people who don�t know you and judge you incorrectly, there must be an equal measure of those who like and love you for being just the way and who you are.

[NJOK]

I can imagine that it must be frustrating but it's just human nature. Saying that people 'judge' you is just another way of saying that they form an opinion, based on how you come across to them.

We all do it with every single person we meet - quiet, loud, intellectual, flirtatious, whatever.

The only way you can deal with it is by a) changing the way that you behave or b) rising above it.