The positive thing is you have realised you have a problem and things aren't right, the next step is do something about you, you sound as if you are way to stressed,you must prioritise things in your life, not every little thing has to be done right now, you say you are not taking holidays, why not? you need one now, we all need time to ourselves, work, work, work? why why, why ?
you seriously need to think about what is happening to you, or you will have a complete breakdown, then what good are you to anybody, you will start to go on a downward spiral that is hard to get out of, please stop, look at what is happening to you and do something about it before it makes you ill, you must eat, you must sleep. try coming home from work, relax in a warm bath with some classical music on ,sit down watch some crap on the tele and try not to think, let your mind go blank for a little while, you may not fancy doing what i suggest, but do something, NOW, good luck and take care, Ray