Is there a psychologist out there?

[rosamundjohn]

Quote:
I want to live alone. I enjoy my own company .I am not interested in other people if they are not useful to me. I don't like to socialise as most people just talk rubbish.

Comments please?

[radiogaga]

a stubborn streak?
if not how long has this person expressed these feelings for?
and what exactly does this person do with their day?
and who are you to them?
sorry trying to build a picture up.....any history of mental health issues and or drug use over the counter or illegal that you know of?

[jedimistress]

I'd be interested to read some answers as I also feel that way a lot of the time. I do not think it's completely uncommon. Perhaps I am abnormal or have issues.

I think everyone has their own level of social need. I used to be sociable when I was younger, the more people I met the better. Now I find it wearing. My sister can not be alone, the minute she is alone she calls someone, anyone. What about that? Very opposite.

[radiogaga]

i agree jedimistress. i am much the same.
when younger i was the life and soul of the party, but now even the thought of going on a night out exausts me.

its up to the individual to seek out like minded friends, with a common intrest as most people do talk rubbish!
i feel too much time alone for anynone can be isolating to their detrement.

[fagidill]

And i thought it was just me !
that was weird and didnt do other people ,well, well.

[Octavius]

Humans generally are social creatures. To be different to this generic rule identifies someone as a loner � and I don�t mean that pejoratively. There are many benefits to solitude and some have formed romantic ideas of this notion, particularly in literature.

Perhaps the loner believes they have superiority in terms of ethics or intellect, only relating to individuals they consider worthy of their time and attention. This type of loner will not have many friends, as most people will take this offish-ness as a sign of arrogant snobbery or egotism. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is because they lack self confidence in their own ability and do not want to be seen as lower intelligence, or the belief that people are constantly assessing them and their social capacity.

Mostly I believe loners are lacking in confidence and usually shy. It takes a long time for any bond to occur and trust to set in, and when someone unknown to a loner enters a social group, the loner will automatically shell up.

Anxiety is a common feature of their social interactions. Self-hatred is sometimes the underlying motivation for why a person may isolate himself or herself. A sense of alienation from society can develop as a result. This is not fun.

A healthy balance is key, so to spend some alone time reflecting or gathering thoughts is perfect if you are able to share those ideas and thoughts with compatriots in a social environment. This can be fun.

[Twenty20]

or perhaps a number of people just prefer their own company?

[Lil O'lady]

Person spec for a network manager?

[lizzydrippin]

pejoratively?

[mibn2cweus]

I've never felt so alone as when in the midst of a crowd of people with whom I can not relate. I'm not feeling that now. This is an interesting thread.

[Postdog]

If I were clever enough, I'd have used those words to describe me. I would rather be alone than compromise my values or be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.

[Whickerman]

You're a misanthrope - nothing wrong with that at all. I have to say i empathise to a certain extent.

[LoftyLottie]

I feel more like this as I have got older. I used to be a very social animal and now I would rather not go out unless it is with people I know very well and like. Just can't be bothered anymore with social chitchat just for the sake of it. I really don't mind spending lots of time alone but value my close family and friends.

However, I don't think the people I want to be with is just because they are 'useful' to me!

[Octavius]

I think as you get older it becomes more difficult to maintain those old friendships you used to have, whether because of distance, growing apart or just a lack of commonality and moving on. Also when you set up home, or in a relationship or have children, you become relatively self contained. The need to get out and make friends and be a socialite is relatively diminished because you are content with what you now have.

Of course there is an element of social interaction and friend-gathering, but at a much lesser extent as you age. This is quite noticeable on sites such as Facebook etc, where the younger generation will have 2,000 or so fair-weather �friends�, whereas the older generation have 20-30 good friends. I often believe that people my age with many many friends on these sites are desperately trying to hold on to their youth, or look popular - a sign of lonely arrogance??!

I hope people didn�t think I was demeaning the loner in my post above, as much of what I have written describes me.

[Gromit]

Are you Gordon Brown?

[Octavius]

No, porquois?

[Octavius]

Ah, sorry you were referring to the main question....?

I'm a bit slow on the uptake today.

[China Doll]

I don't think you can blame the day of the week m'dear.

[Octavius]

I didn't.

I blame late night parties and too much socialising.

[China Doll]

I blame my parents.

[Octavius]

Yes me too, your parents have a lot to answer for.