Forgive a wife but not a husband?

[jake-the-peg]

Is it my imagination but when I saw the Unfaithful wife thread

http://www.theanswerb...g/Question945462.html

I was expecting a storm of "never forgive infidelity " responses like we got here:

http://www.theanswerb...g/Question943464.html

or numerous other past threads.

But no the responses seem much more measured (and sensible)

Are there double standards going on here ? Or am I imagining it?

[ummmm]

First link....Nothing has happened and he's unsure if it ever would have.

Second link....he cheated and filmed it.

No comparison...we're talking forgive a few text messages or forgive a seedy one night stand. The latter is a no brainer for me.

[237SJ]

Maybe the response is sympathetic because most of the replies come from females. Or maybe there are as you say, double standards just like there are when a man sleeps around and gets a slap on the back as opposed to a woman sleeping around and being called a ***...

[bobjugs12]

JTP, i'm in complete agreeance with ummmm on this one.

Plus, the RF thread is not about the marriage, or the infidelity, it's about him and his reactions, feelings and upset. The time for advice on how to rebuild/end the marriage comes later. The poor bloke has only just found out, and needs mates who can back him up, and listen to him.

[rowanwitch]

I remember I read somewhere
Statistically a woman is more likely to forgive a cheating partner than a man...
primitive instincts and paternity questions ... this tends to even out once the female partner is past child bearing. The above is considered to reflect the imbalance caused by women still generally relying on men for the higher percentage of joint income and being willing to accept infidelity either for the sake of the children or financial concerns. In families where the woman is the main or sole earner this probably doesn't apply so much

[jake-the-peg]

Text message saying "what (local) hotel are you booking into?"

Right!

[ummmm]

It's still only a message. It doesn't mean they were going to have sex. If he lives far away then they could have just been planning to meet up. Being an ex could be why she didn't tell her husband.