Well if you need to decide whether to preach a sermon or garden then why not compromise?
God and Eve in the Garden
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this
beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that
hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create
a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.
He'll lie,>cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give
you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like
to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but
since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such in a
way that he will satisfy your ah, physical needs. He'll be
witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and
kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also
need your advise to think properly.
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, Lord?"
"Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring . .
. So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first . .
. So, just remember . . . it's our secret . . . Woman to
woman."