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A religious 5 year old
19 Answers
My son is 5, he goes to a christian school and myself and my hubby are not religious, although I do believe in God, afterlife but do not attend school.
He has become very interested in god and religion of late , prays every night and insists on having a nativity crib set up in his room. He is also clear that his deceased Granny is with God in heaven.
I'm wondering about taking him to sunday school and or church. I am aware that this maybe a phase but I have always believed that as he grows older he should be allowed to choose. He hasn't been christened as my hubs does not believe in enforcing views.
Anyone out there have a rational opinion.
Thanx
He has become very interested in god and religion of late , prays every night and insists on having a nativity crib set up in his room. He is also clear that his deceased Granny is with God in heaven.
I'm wondering about taking him to sunday school and or church. I am aware that this maybe a phase but I have always believed that as he grows older he should be allowed to choose. He hasn't been christened as my hubs does not believe in enforcing views.
Anyone out there have a rational opinion.
Thanx
Answers
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It sounds as though your son has it sorted already amonty, so there's really nothing more for you to do, except allow him to carry on as he is now and accepting all that he believes.
Little children can be amazingly spiritual, unhindered by all the rubbish that adults amass. They see and know things that might seem strange to us, but is normal to them, so just go along with whatever he says and does - and you will know soon enough whether this is a 'stage' or not.
Having him christened is not necessary, it's not a pre-requisite to heaven, so don't bother with that - and only take him to Sunday school or chuch if he asks and not before. He sounds absolutely adorable :-)
Little children can be amazingly spiritual, unhindered by all the rubbish that adults amass. They see and know things that might seem strange to us, but is normal to them, so just go along with whatever he says and does - and you will know soon enough whether this is a 'stage' or not.
Having him christened is not necessary, it's not a pre-requisite to heaven, so don't bother with that - and only take him to Sunday school or chuch if he asks and not before. He sounds absolutely adorable :-)
Cetti's talking cack, of course.
Your son has merely latched on to some memes which are being reinforced in assembly every day. It so happens that you generally agree with these ideas and think them broadly benign (which is up to you, I should add).
Put him in the wrong part of Africa and he might learn how to fire a gun and hate the tribe over the hill. Hell, put him in the wrong part of Ireland (certainly until recently) and he might have learnt not to play with kids whose surnames begin with "O".
He's not picking up on these ideas because of anything other than the fact that they're being constantly pushed at him. He probably equally feels some degree of brand loyalty to certain shops as a result of adverts aimed at kids. Perhaps he equates MuckDonalds with good food? Perhaps he feels a great kinship with the morals of Bob the Builder.
It would be naive to think that kids didn't pick up on this stuff - if they didn't MuckD's wouldn't advertise at kids, Bob wouldn't stress the importance of behaving decently etc.
It's up to you to decide whether these ideas are good or bad, but I think it's a triffle silly to imagine that he's picked up on them through any sort of inate spirituality.
Your son has merely latched on to some memes which are being reinforced in assembly every day. It so happens that you generally agree with these ideas and think them broadly benign (which is up to you, I should add).
Put him in the wrong part of Africa and he might learn how to fire a gun and hate the tribe over the hill. Hell, put him in the wrong part of Ireland (certainly until recently) and he might have learnt not to play with kids whose surnames begin with "O".
He's not picking up on these ideas because of anything other than the fact that they're being constantly pushed at him. He probably equally feels some degree of brand loyalty to certain shops as a result of adverts aimed at kids. Perhaps he equates MuckDonalds with good food? Perhaps he feels a great kinship with the morals of Bob the Builder.
It would be naive to think that kids didn't pick up on this stuff - if they didn't MuckD's wouldn't advertise at kids, Bob wouldn't stress the importance of behaving decently etc.
It's up to you to decide whether these ideas are good or bad, but I think it's a triffle silly to imagine that he's picked up on them through any sort of inate spirituality.
What is it that the Jesuits say "Give me the child until he's 7 and I'll give you the man"?
Children can be quite impressionable and especially in holding onto comforting ideas in the face of traumatic events like losing a loved grandparent.
I guess the question is whether you're comfortable with him getting a Christian upbringing - I guess that you're having doubts about it because you're asking the question.
Possibly you put him into the Christian school because it had a good reputation?
To let you know where I'm coming from, I'm an athiest and I object strongly to religious education in state schools.
I think you have to make up your mind about your attitude to Christianity and talk it through with your husband. If you're happy with him getting the Christian "message" then take him to Sunday School or church by all means.
Otherwise you might want to have a talk with him along the lines of "Some people have different beliefs, some believe in reincarnation and teachers in school are only one idea"
As for Christening I can see no possible reason to want to do this to a child of 5. I can understand parents of a newborn wanting to "welcome them to the church" or an adult wanting to make a symbol of commitment, but a 5 year old is too young for the latter.
Children can be quite impressionable and especially in holding onto comforting ideas in the face of traumatic events like losing a loved grandparent.
I guess the question is whether you're comfortable with him getting a Christian upbringing - I guess that you're having doubts about it because you're asking the question.
Possibly you put him into the Christian school because it had a good reputation?
To let you know where I'm coming from, I'm an athiest and I object strongly to religious education in state schools.
I think you have to make up your mind about your attitude to Christianity and talk it through with your husband. If you're happy with him getting the Christian "message" then take him to Sunday School or church by all means.
Otherwise you might want to have a talk with him along the lines of "Some people have different beliefs, some believe in reincarnation and teachers in school are only one idea"
As for Christening I can see no possible reason to want to do this to a child of 5. I can understand parents of a newborn wanting to "welcome them to the church" or an adult wanting to make a symbol of commitment, but a 5 year old is too young for the latter.
I'm currently experiencing the same thing with one of my five year old daughters. She has decided to believe in God / heaven - the whole shebang; even told me the other day that I shouldn't do naughty things because God is watching me!
My grandfather died six weeks ago after being ill for some time and I think she gets comfort from imagining he's gone to Heaven rather than just disappeared from her life.
As jake the peg suggested we have always talked to our children about what different people believe and have never presented any one way of belief as the right one.I'm happy to answer any questions she has but I'm not gong to bundle her off to Sunday School just because she is currently expressing an interest - she is still only 5 and there is plenty of time for her to explore things and make decisions about what she believes. I'm 34 and I still haven't fully made up my mind!
Guess what I'm saying is I plan to go withthe flow and neither actively encourage or discourage what she believes at the moment. I think she's just trying to make sense of things because 'you're dead for ever ' can be a scary concept at that age.
When we explained that some people believed in reincarnation just after Papa died, my other daughter - also 5 - said 'I hope that's what Papa gets, it would be nice to have a new baby around.'
My grandfather died six weeks ago after being ill for some time and I think she gets comfort from imagining he's gone to Heaven rather than just disappeared from her life.
As jake the peg suggested we have always talked to our children about what different people believe and have never presented any one way of belief as the right one.I'm happy to answer any questions she has but I'm not gong to bundle her off to Sunday School just because she is currently expressing an interest - she is still only 5 and there is plenty of time for her to explore things and make decisions about what she believes. I'm 34 and I still haven't fully made up my mind!
Guess what I'm saying is I plan to go withthe flow and neither actively encourage or discourage what she believes at the moment. I think she's just trying to make sense of things because 'you're dead for ever ' can be a scary concept at that age.
When we explained that some people believed in reincarnation just after Papa died, my other daughter - also 5 - said 'I hope that's what Papa gets, it would be nice to have a new baby around.'
amonty - You say that
'As he grows older he should be allowed to choose'
I doubt he can ever choose now because the school have drummed this into him at such a young age. Kids believe everything adult tell them. Whatever he chooses in later life, he will never get away from the religion (idea of God etc) that is being tought to him now.
'As he grows older he should be allowed to choose'
I doubt he can ever choose now because the school have drummed this into him at such a young age. Kids believe everything adult tell them. Whatever he chooses in later life, he will never get away from the religion (idea of God etc) that is being tought to him now.
I think the answers you got from Cetti and Yinyang are really good, the child is only 5, let him have some niceties while he can, there's too much hate and fighting in the world. God and heaven gives you some thing to believe in,I'd hate too think that once I die thats it. I've not had my children christened , Ive bought them up too be good and true and let them decide for themselves, they are in their thirties now, one believes in god and heaven the other thinks its a load of tosh, so as with you'rs time will tell.
If he's latched on to Christianity then he's certainly not going to come to any harm, and he's done it himself as well. Why would anybody want to dismantle his beliefs, such good beliefs that will give him a moral anchor in his life, and a source of comfort?
Cetti is certainly not talking cack as Waldo so eloquently stated.
Cetti is certainly not talking cack as Waldo so eloquently stated.
I like yingyang�s answer.
I believe the child is getting plenty of religious education at school and does not need to be pushed any further by supplementing it with Sunday school. I would presume that the school also include going to church within their curriculum, but perhaps if you are that interested you may wish to take him along to a service on a Sunday, just to see what it is all about. Chances are, at 5 years old he will be bored rigid and won�t be in a hurry to go back.
I don�t think there is any harm in a child believing that their departed loved ones have gone to a special place. They will grow up and learn the harsh realities of life soon enough and then they can make their own decisions or discoveries. They rarely grow up to hate you for letting them believe in the nicities of life (God, Heaven, Santa, Tooth Fairy etc). Perhaps instead of going that extra yard for religion, you could involve him with some local groups which may or may not be connected to the church/school. Such things can supplement a child�s development and social integration marvellously providing they enjoy what they are doing.
Contrary to the view above, I think that children need to know about religion, including all the good and bad points and how the world has been and is affected by it.
From personal experience I don�t believe that this is brainwashing. I was raised with a strict catholic education and apart from having a pet rubber chicken called Fred and a shrine to the dearly departed Thierry Henry (from Arsenal, not Earth) in my garden, I would say I am a balanced individual. I am not a religious or societal nutter! And I don�t preach to others are bemoan and condemn their personal beliefs.
I believe the child is getting plenty of religious education at school and does not need to be pushed any further by supplementing it with Sunday school. I would presume that the school also include going to church within their curriculum, but perhaps if you are that interested you may wish to take him along to a service on a Sunday, just to see what it is all about. Chances are, at 5 years old he will be bored rigid and won�t be in a hurry to go back.
I don�t think there is any harm in a child believing that their departed loved ones have gone to a special place. They will grow up and learn the harsh realities of life soon enough and then they can make their own decisions or discoveries. They rarely grow up to hate you for letting them believe in the nicities of life (God, Heaven, Santa, Tooth Fairy etc). Perhaps instead of going that extra yard for religion, you could involve him with some local groups which may or may not be connected to the church/school. Such things can supplement a child�s development and social integration marvellously providing they enjoy what they are doing.
Contrary to the view above, I think that children need to know about religion, including all the good and bad points and how the world has been and is affected by it.
From personal experience I don�t believe that this is brainwashing. I was raised with a strict catholic education and apart from having a pet rubber chicken called Fred and a shrine to the dearly departed Thierry Henry (from Arsenal, not Earth) in my garden, I would say I am a balanced individual. I am not a religious or societal nutter! And I don�t preach to others are bemoan and condemn their personal beliefs.
So you think that a five year old is capable of articulating his rationale for his 'faith' then, Theland? How much do you want to bet that it comes down to 'this is what I've been told, and it's comforting'?
I'm not knocking the fact that it gives the lad comfort, but it's lunacy to suggest that it's anything other than a societally determined belief. How else can do you account for the fact that children's religions are the one to which they are most often exposed? Why, if this is some inate spirituality, do people not pick up on other religions? Even if you want to play the 'Chrisitianity is the only true religion' card, you would have to explain why a child brought up in an Islamic country can't pick up on the true religion, but instead picks up on Islam.
It's memetics, nothing more.
I'm not knocking the fact that it gives the lad comfort, but it's lunacy to suggest that it's anything other than a societally determined belief. How else can do you account for the fact that children's religions are the one to which they are most often exposed? Why, if this is some inate spirituality, do people not pick up on other religions? Even if you want to play the 'Chrisitianity is the only true religion' card, you would have to explain why a child brought up in an Islamic country can't pick up on the true religion, but instead picks up on Islam.
It's memetics, nothing more.
I forgot to mention above but only talked of this the other day.
I too was one of those kids in a C of E primary.. I would go home and ask questions: Why did God this? How does God do that? etc. My mum always did her best to answer UNTIL one day her answer was:
"Some people believe in God and some people don't, it's up to you if you want to believe it's true or not!"
I was dumbfounded. But at this point I'd also been introduced to Athiesm. Therefore from that point I had a choice.
Religion is tought as FACT in primary schools to children of impressionable age. When they discover years later this is just a theory, the word turns upside down for a moment.
I attended Sunday School once or twice and didn't want to go again. It was too nicey, nicey & infantile. It's probably his curiosity that make him want to attend.
In defence of all those religious people I must say that the Christians I know, along with Jehova's Whitness's are the nicest people I've ever met. However I'm not for joining as they live in a protective bubble of their community and do not partake in the world as I have come to know.
I too was one of those kids in a C of E primary.. I would go home and ask questions: Why did God this? How does God do that? etc. My mum always did her best to answer UNTIL one day her answer was:
"Some people believe in God and some people don't, it's up to you if you want to believe it's true or not!"
I was dumbfounded. But at this point I'd also been introduced to Athiesm. Therefore from that point I had a choice.
Religion is tought as FACT in primary schools to children of impressionable age. When they discover years later this is just a theory, the word turns upside down for a moment.
I attended Sunday School once or twice and didn't want to go again. It was too nicey, nicey & infantile. It's probably his curiosity that make him want to attend.
In defence of all those religious people I must say that the Christians I know, along with Jehova's Whitness's are the nicest people I've ever met. However I'm not for joining as they live in a protective bubble of their community and do not partake in the world as I have come to know.
I feel I have to correct some assumptions here, I'm not thinking of getting him christened, there is no need, if he wishes to believe he will, if he doesn't then he won't.
He goes to a christian school because it is a good school not because of the religion.
His education already includes other religions and I don't think that it is wrong for a 5 year old to learn that being nice to people and treating all people fairly is what I expect of him.
He doesn't equate McD with good food as he very rarely goes, that is down to my true believe that the food is rubbish, i won't eat it so why should he.
Also, questions of morality and decency are learnt from me and the way I live my life, not from bob the builder or any other such inane tripe.
It is nice to know that other's have thes dilemmas about religion and in it's way is quite comforting. No matter what he decides, he will be allowed free choice. I'm all for self determination but also social justice and equality for all.
A little bit of god talk won't hurt.
The biggest problem in all this, is why did Jesus come back to live but his Granny didn't. I think I'll leave that for much later.
Thank you all for your views.
He goes to a christian school because it is a good school not because of the religion.
His education already includes other religions and I don't think that it is wrong for a 5 year old to learn that being nice to people and treating all people fairly is what I expect of him.
He doesn't equate McD with good food as he very rarely goes, that is down to my true believe that the food is rubbish, i won't eat it so why should he.
Also, questions of morality and decency are learnt from me and the way I live my life, not from bob the builder or any other such inane tripe.
It is nice to know that other's have thes dilemmas about religion and in it's way is quite comforting. No matter what he decides, he will be allowed free choice. I'm all for self determination but also social justice and equality for all.
A little bit of god talk won't hurt.
The biggest problem in all this, is why did Jesus come back to live but his Granny didn't. I think I'll leave that for much later.
Thank you all for your views.
He will choose as he grows older. I myself was very religious as a child but drifted through agnosticism to atheism throughout me teens. In my twenties I began to think that there is more to life than existence and more to death than extinction. Today I have religious beliefs but don't go to church. I am able to reconcile science and evolution with religious belief without any problem. So basically leave him to make his own choices and his own truths will come to him.
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