Divorce for Catholics

[PurpleParis]

I got married in a Catholic church and am about to divorce my husband, where do I stand with the church? Does this mean I cannot go to another church service and receive the sacraments or have confession?

[PurpleParis]

I don't want to go into detail Mani but he was not the man I thought I married, he as good as committed adultery in my eyes.

[jackthehat]

Purple........don't give any further details to Mani. He has extreme views on divorce and you will find no solace through anything he tells you. If you choose to remarry he will consider you to be an 'adultress'.............as he does Naomi24, another ABer.
I find it upsetting in the extreme that you should be denied the comfort of any aspect of your religious practice because you can no longer countenance the behaviour of your spouse.
Please accept my sincere and heartfelt best wishes and I hope that you find peace of mind you are seeking.

[naomi24]

Jack, needless to say I agree with every word you say.

Purple, I wish you well.

[PurpleParis]

Thank you Jack and Naomi, your support is appreciated.

[Cetti]

Please forgive my intrusion PurpleParis as I don't have an answer for you, but it breaks my heart to think anyone even has to ask a question like this.

Catholicism, or any religion that bans it's followers from Communion when at their most vulnerable has a lot to answer for - and don't forget, you don't have to be in a church to have Communion, nor do you need a priest for confession.

[Octavius]

Is this Q for real?
If you are serious about attending church and receiving communion and confession, why not just ask the priest or vicar at your local church?

I know plenty of Catholics who are divorced and continue with their spiritual beliefs in church.

[chakka35]

Why not just leave the church and live a normal happy life like the rest of us, free from superstitious bullying?

[naomi24]

Chakka, although your suggestion is the most sensible course of action, as Purple is so concerned about her religion, I can only assume that she is a devout Roman Catholic, and as such it would be very difficult for her to choose that option and be totally content with her decision.

[chakka35]

naomi, I don't see why. I was brought up as a (perfectly happy) Christian: star of the Sunday School, chapel three times a day when staying in North Wales, married (first time) in Malvern Priory and so on.
Then in my mid-twenties something moved me to make a very intensive study of the origins of my faith and (after a year or two) I realised that the Jesus story had no historical basis whatsoever. So I stopped being a Christian and, by the same process, became a happy atheist.
I don't see why PurpleParis should not do something similar to be rid of the superstitions that dominate her. After all, she gave up believing in Santa and fairies, I presume. There really is no difference.

[naomi24]

Chakka, I understand what you say. I went through a similar process to you before eventually, thankfully, taking repossession of my brain, seeing the error of my ways, and recovering the ability to think for myself. However, since Purple is obviously very concerned with the implications of her impending divorce in so far as her faith is concerned, I'm not sure that, at the moment, she is able to make the decision that you and I both took. Like me, it was obviously some time before you saw the hypocrisy of man-made Christianity for what it is, and with a newly discovered unclouded vision came to understand that you were able, if you chose, to free yourself from its manufactured dogma. Therefore, if Purple is indeed devout, bearing in mind all the nonsensical superstition that so-called Christianity implants into the minds of its followers, then it is quite clearly not a choice she can make lightly, or may, indeed, be willing to make, at this moment in time. That's not to say, of course, that realisation of the truth will not strike her at some time in the future - and I sincerely hope it does. That's all I meant.

I don't want to pry, but I'd be very interested to know what prompted you to move away from Christianity, Chakka - that's if you don't mind telling me.

Just a footnote: seems you are adulterous too!! Join the club! :o)

[chakka35]

I suppose you�re right, naomi - sympathetic and understanding as usual. I just wonder whether too much understanding, tolerance and indulgence is what has allowed religion to grow into the monster it now is. But then I suppose that someone who has been indocrinated in Roman Catholicism since childhood, with all those cruel threats of burning in hell and so on, must find it more difficult to get out from under as you and I did.
I don�t know whether I am an adulterer. Mani has such a strange mind that he might be one of those fellows who think men can have as many women as they like, but women must be stoned to death if they don�t stick to one man for life. Wouldn�t put it past him. Anyway, if I am then I am happy and proud to join your club. (I nearly said �Let�s be adulterers together� then realised that such unfortunate phrasing might not go down too well with Kevin, or with you if it comes to that!)

My path to the truth started with a television God-spot which contained something (and I can�t remember what) which both puzzled and surprised me. I set out to nail it and soon found myself reading book after book about the origins of Christianity, realising in the process how apallingly ignorant I was about my own religion. I blush to disclose that, as a Christian, if I thought about it at all, I had some vague idea that the gospels were independent eyewitness accounts written by four of Jesus�s disciples called Matthew, Mark, Luke and John! The discovery that they were written anonymously, years after the event by people who never knew Jesus and of whom we know absolutely nothing, that there was no mention of Jesus by anyone during his supposed lifetime and that we have no ear- or eyewitness accounts of anything he is supposed to have said or done, I realised how much I had been conned by the Church and all its agents. (CONTINUED)

[chakka35]

(CONTINUED) My final admission to myself that I was no longer a Christian brought tremendous relief at the thought that I no longer had to believe silly things like virgin births, resurrections and so on. At the further realisation that I no longer believed in God I was ecstatic: I could now look at the universe as it actually is without my ideas having to be being cribb�d, cabinn�d and confin�d by the meandering of unknown writers in an ancient book (Paul being the only identifiable author in the whole of the bible).
That joy has stayed with me ever since as I study subjects like evolution which religionists are not allowed to accept. I feel so sorry for their imprisoned minds.

[naomi24]

Thanks Chakka. Interesting. It does seem that many Christians believe the authors of the gospels were eye witnesses who took notes as Jesus was speaking - and even when they discover the truth, they deny it and turn a deaf ear.

"Let us be adulterers together"? Goodness me Chakka! That's the best offer I've had today!

Like you, I too get the impression that men are forgiven far more readily than women. That seems par for the course - although I could be wrong. Perhaps someone will come along and tell us if, in the eyes of the church, the terrible sin of divorce and remarriage is equally great for both sexes.

I too look at people of religion and feel sorry for their imprisoned minds. Having been in that situation before finally 'seeing the light', I now find it difficult to comprehend how any thinking person can be led by other men into that suffocating world of superstition, lies, fear and guilt. Sad.

[jno]

while I'm not a believer myself, I don't think the Bible can be so lightly dismissed. It wasn't written by people who appeared on the South Bank Show to promote it, so we don't know much about them. But the notion that followers of a preacher whould take down his words at the time, or recount them orally to be taken down later, is pretty much par for the course for the 1st century, I would have thought, and by no means a sign that the whole story was somehow invented out of nothing. It seems to me pretty safe to say that there was a preacher called Jesus and that he went round preaching the sort of things the New Testament says he did, though individual details are no doubt unreliable, subject to all the problems of bad memory, mistranslation, selective editing and so on. And people like PurpleParis who feel that this is a book to live by surely are perfectly entitled to their view, and not to have people come onto their threads to snigger at their faith?

[naomi24]

jno, No one is sniggering at their faith. In view of Purple's concerns, we are merely conveying our opinions and discussing the doctrine of the church, the negative effect it has on people's everyday lives, and the veracity of the gospels.

I too believe the man Jesus existed - but I would say that your notion of selective editing of the scriptures is rather an understatement.

[jno]

Naomi, this:

"Why not just leave the church and live a normal happy life like the rest of us, free from superstitious bullying?"

seems pretty rude to me (perhaps sneering would have been a better word than sniggering?). Doubtless Chakka is sincere, but it is hardly a helpful answer to PurpleParis's question. I don't much like Christians telling me to convert - and I don't much like atheists doing it either.

[naomi24]

jno, I don't want to speak for Chakka, so hopefully he'll come back later with another post. However, in my opinion he wasn't sniggering or sneering when he made that suggestion - he was being realistic. Purple asked a question relating to her acceptance by the church following her impending divorce. The simple fact is that if she could detach herself from a religion that judges so harshly, and ostracises, to a degree, those who 'break the rules', she would have only one problem to contend with - her divorce - and that in itself is traumatic enough without worrying about the church's take on her situation. As I've already said though, for her that may not be an acceptable proposal - or a choice she wishes to make.