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What are Catholic views on Domestic Violence?
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Is there any advice given from the church to couples who are unmarried but are planning too?
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The Catholic church builds its faith on foundations of guilt. They prefer to simply look the other way in pesky earthly matters like husbands battering their wives, and look instead at the theology of the family.
Cynical?
Not at all.
My wife is a Catholic and her first marriage was annulled - which goes right up to the Pope for the final say.
And what was the overwhelming reason why the Church was prepared to say that the marriage never actually existed?
Was it the fact that her first husband beat her black and blue?
No, it was the fact that he didnt attend the baptisms of their daughters, or complete his commitment to make sure they attended church regularly.
If you need advice on domestic violence, don;t look to the church - look here instead.
One punch - history.
It's really that simple.
Cynical?
Not at all.
My wife is a Catholic and her first marriage was annulled - which goes right up to the Pope for the final say.
And what was the overwhelming reason why the Church was prepared to say that the marriage never actually existed?
Was it the fact that her first husband beat her black and blue?
No, it was the fact that he didnt attend the baptisms of their daughters, or complete his commitment to make sure they attended church regularly.
If you need advice on domestic violence, don;t look to the church - look here instead.
One punch - history.
It's really that simple.
Fair enough Andy, but fortunately things are/have changed.
Do you mean what sort of guidance the Church gives during the marriage preparation stages (proximate preparation)? Generally, the church recognises that domestic violence is unacceptable, a sin, and must be stopped and it is part of the marriage preparation agenda. Details such as how it is unacceptable in the home, is never justified and violence in any form; physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal�is sinful; often, it is a crime as well. They also identify that help is available by providing leaflets and info on local resources in your parish bulletins and newsletters and on websites.
During the preparation phase, unless it is apparent or evident that violence is occurring, it can only be a genial chat, since you cannot assume that DV is taking place in all cases. If it is evident, then a priest can offer counsel and refuge through various local groups and referral to specialists.
If you need advice on domestic violbce, I would suggest you take any that you can get - even if that does include your local church.
Other than that, I�m not really sure what you are asking.
Do you mean what sort of guidance the Church gives during the marriage preparation stages (proximate preparation)? Generally, the church recognises that domestic violence is unacceptable, a sin, and must be stopped and it is part of the marriage preparation agenda. Details such as how it is unacceptable in the home, is never justified and violence in any form; physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal�is sinful; often, it is a crime as well. They also identify that help is available by providing leaflets and info on local resources in your parish bulletins and newsletters and on websites.
During the preparation phase, unless it is apparent or evident that violence is occurring, it can only be a genial chat, since you cannot assume that DV is taking place in all cases. If it is evident, then a priest can offer counsel and refuge through various local groups and referral to specialists.
If you need advice on domestic violbce, I would suggest you take any that you can get - even if that does include your local church.
Other than that, I�m not really sure what you are asking.
Oh good grief woman... What are your views on it? Do you think it's ok? It's you it's happening to so who gives a rats ar5e what anyone else thinks.
Do you know you sound like you're trying to justify it. You can't, it's not ok, it's never been ok.... You just don't batter someone/something you're supposed to love. You are not loved, you are not cherished if you're being whacked around. You may have been a **** in the past - we all have at one point - but unless it's my drink you spilt you don't deserve to be a human punch bag for it. There really is no discussion, rhyme or reason to it, it's just wrong.
Do you know you sound like you're trying to justify it. You can't, it's not ok, it's never been ok.... You just don't batter someone/something you're supposed to love. You are not loved, you are not cherished if you're being whacked around. You may have been a **** in the past - we all have at one point - but unless it's my drink you spilt you don't deserve to be a human punch bag for it. There really is no discussion, rhyme or reason to it, it's just wrong.
I cannot speak for every priest, but if he knows of the abuse then he would normally state that domestic violence sacrilegiously fouls the sacred covenanted relationships of marriage.
But generally that is irrelevant, it should never come to that. If you are in a position of being abused then you should not be considering marrying the church or deceiving them in the nature of your relationship.
Domestic violence exchanges the natural bonds of love and nurturing for the unnatural relationships of aggressors trampling mercilessly on the dignity, rights, and aspirations of those they have promised to love and cherish. This is generally at odds with the sanctity of marriage and a normal loving relationship.
As said, don't rely on the church to tell you what to do.
But generally that is irrelevant, it should never come to that. If you are in a position of being abused then you should not be considering marrying the church or deceiving them in the nature of your relationship.
Domestic violence exchanges the natural bonds of love and nurturing for the unnatural relationships of aggressors trampling mercilessly on the dignity, rights, and aspirations of those they have promised to love and cherish. This is generally at odds with the sanctity of marriage and a normal loving relationship.
As said, don't rely on the church to tell you what to do.
Why on earth are you even thinking about getting married?
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question658277.html
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question658277.html
This is from you, Feelinlost, on the link Rosetta gave.
'....... but what if the abuser say's your hurting him emotionally and he feels he's been abused himself for what you've done i.e. lies, acting selfish, doing things he doesn't like unintentially etc Then what, how do you comprimise?'
How do you explain to someone what I have done to them is nothing compared to domestic violence?
You know the answer, otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question. By saying you have hurt him, he's excusing his behaviour, and you're fool enough to fall for it, but nothing can excuse it - and abusive men don't improve after marriage - that you can be absolutely sure of. What do you think will happen after you're married? Do you think he'll stop? Simply he won't. If he beats you now, the likelihood is it will get worse, and you will end up an emotionally broken wreck devoid of all remnants of self esteem.
I think you have written before about your mother's non-acceptance of your boyfriend. Then I supported you, but after reading this, I think she has a point. She is probably worried sick because she wants better for you. Believe me, Feelinlost, you might think you can't live without this man, but you can. If you marry him, you will be condemning yourself to a life of misery and pain - and you do have a choice. You're young, your life is ahead of you, so do yourself the greatest favour, even if it's going to hurt for a little while - make the right choice.
'....... but what if the abuser say's your hurting him emotionally and he feels he's been abused himself for what you've done i.e. lies, acting selfish, doing things he doesn't like unintentially etc Then what, how do you comprimise?'
How do you explain to someone what I have done to them is nothing compared to domestic violence?
You know the answer, otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question. By saying you have hurt him, he's excusing his behaviour, and you're fool enough to fall for it, but nothing can excuse it - and abusive men don't improve after marriage - that you can be absolutely sure of. What do you think will happen after you're married? Do you think he'll stop? Simply he won't. If he beats you now, the likelihood is it will get worse, and you will end up an emotionally broken wreck devoid of all remnants of self esteem.
I think you have written before about your mother's non-acceptance of your boyfriend. Then I supported you, but after reading this, I think she has a point. She is probably worried sick because she wants better for you. Believe me, Feelinlost, you might think you can't live without this man, but you can. If you marry him, you will be condemning yourself to a life of misery and pain - and you do have a choice. You're young, your life is ahead of you, so do yourself the greatest favour, even if it's going to hurt for a little while - make the right choice.
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