Physical and mental health deteriorates. Sleep involves fewer hours so one is in a daze most of the day. Can no longer put up with the nonsense I once never gave a thought too, as I feel I've taken enough of it. Start to take account and realise that lottery aside, I'm not going to be a millionaire, nor win a Nobel prize, or indeed be known for anything noteworthy. Wonder if I have the strength of character to cope with the downward spiral over the years, and the feelings of lack of control. Probably other things as well.