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settling in to nursery at 2 year old.

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chestnut1977 | 16:03 Sat 17th Sep 2005 | Parenting
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My son has started nursery two mornings a week (weds and fri 9-12pm).He stops crying very soon but stands by the emergency door saying "I want to go home" and "get out of door".he won't join in and stands away from the group.It has only been his second time though and i think he just needs to learn to trust them.The group of toddlers is not what he is used too.I have had pressure from my mum to stop the nursery but i think its time and confidence.


Any Advice would be appreciated.Thanks-Sam

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Hi, my little one was exactly the same when she started at the age of two. I put her in everyday for 5 hours and she'd cry the house down. She didn't want me to leave her there but the nursery staff INSISTED that i ignore her cries and just leave, and i did although it was difficult as i didn't like seeing her so upset. Two months into it she was fine and didn't want to come home because she was enjoying spending time with children her own age, before then she'd never really interacted with the same age group and was more confident around adults. What i can advise is probably the same as what the nursey told me - be patient! Don't pull him out of nursey, it'll do him good if he is around children, it'll help build his confidence and at the same time he will be 'learning' too and these are the skills he will need by the time he starts reception. It may take months but don't give up, i didn't!

It is just a matter of time chestnut, your son has found himself left in a room full of babies/toddlers and adults that he's never met in his life! not forgetting that he is only two so doesn't have the communtication skills we as adults have to at least begin to build a relationship when put in a similar sitution! He will more than likely start wandering around the nursery in time and begin to play with toys, he'll probably play alone for a while which is known as solitary play then he'll move on to parallel play before you know it he'll be interacting with his peers and forming relationships.

Your next thread I suspect will read something like this.........When my son goes to Nursery he doesn't kiss me goodbye and when I return to collect him he doesn't want to come home! Oh, and how many more pictures is he going to paint for me? :o)

chin up hunny, lots of children go through this.

My youngest son was like this when he started playschool. It only lasted for a month though, then he was raring to go in. Funnily enough he went into school no problem at all, but my eldest son who took to playschool like a duck to water was really clinging and crying when he started school! Just give it time and he'll soon settle in and really enjoy it. Don't let your Mum stop you from taking him, it really will get better - soon!
I work in a pre school although the children are a little bit older. Its surprising how quickly they stop crying when the parent has gone and by not pressuring them but gently pursuading them to join in they quickly settle. Usually the ones who start off unsettled are the ones who are quite full of themselves by the time they leave . Its nice to see them get their confidence .Stick with it �'m sure he will soon settle.

I know it's slightly different but I teach in an "Early Stages" theatre arts school om saturday mornings, for 4 year olds. One girl yesterday was crying and clinging to her Dad's leg at the start- it was her first time. He left and she continued to cry for a while. We ignored this, and carried on our singing. Eventually she "forgot" to cry and got intrigued with what we were doing. By the end, she, like all the others, volunteered to sing a little bit on her own (even though she didn't know the song- bless!) and stood up in front of the group and sang with me. Lots of praise later, she left happy. Next week I imagine she will cry again, but by the 3rd week she will have made some friends, and realised it isn't scary at all.

 

Stick with it!!!

Hi. My littile girl was just over 18 months when I put her into creche 1 day a week. The first few weeks were hell. She would get so upset when I left her that invariably I would go to work in tears. I was advised by the carers that this soon passes but takes longer the less time they spend there (ie a child going 5 days a week generally settles quicker than a child only going once a week)

After about a month I noticed a difference-the crying continued (actually it continued for a LONG time) but I started to notice little dances and nursery rhymes that I hadnt taught her. Her speech came on in leaps and bounds, as did her social skills.

I dont think this would have happened if she'd been as unhappy as she made out when I dropped her off!!

Please give it time - alot of time if needed - the nursery staff will tell you if they think your childs difficulty to settle is a problem. I feel that putting my daughter into creche is one of the best things I could have done for her and well worth the heart ache to begin with.

All the best!! Just part of a lifetimes worth of worries that kiddies bring us!!

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