The first ever e-mail, send in 1608, read as follows:
Subject: First of Many
Message: Just a quick test. GUYS - Do you want to be BIGGER? Size DOES matter!
Hey, I'm Jenny. Some friends and me have set up an Erotic Internetwork Information and Picture File Page where you can watch us on a webcam. Which haven't even been invented yet. It only costs 3 groats and 2 cows per month if you pay by credit stone tablet*.
*Actually costs 6 times this amount and it's billed per second. The billing will keep repeating forever, whether you tell us to stop or not. If you do not pay up, we will send King Arthur (or whoever it is who's in charge at the moment) to behead you.