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Knowing right from left

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KARL | 11:33 Mon 28th Apr 2003 | Travel
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Surely even the dimmest members of the public know which is which, why then do the motor industry insist on sticking to describing the two as 'offside' and 'nearside' ? Where do we find the 'onside' and 'farside' ? Is this a very dumb effort to achieve cudos/status/exclusivity through confusing non-members of this particular 'elite' ? Does anyone know of other similarly odd examples?

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Karl, you obviously count yourself among the brightest. So which is the RHS or the LHS of a vehicle ? The answer will depend on which way the questioner or the respondent is facing. The Offside and Nearside of a vehicle are always the same.. Same can be said for roads etc.
I'm far from dim and don't have a clue. I've never driven so why would offside and nearside even enter into my daily lfe? If I get hit by one of the damn things, I don't really care which side gets me.
I would think the "nearside" and "offside" terminology causes some difficulty when an accident is caused by someone driving on the wrong side of the road - what would normally be the offside of the car would then actually be on the nearside of the road etc etc. Similarly, the nearside and offside of a RHD car are presumably reversed when it is driven on the Continent. The terms "starboard" and "port" on boats are also a little obscure, but at least they retain their meaning of the right and left side of the vessel (facing forward), wherever it happens to be on the water.
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I trust mikewall has read geofbob's reply. The former is clearly hurt by the suggestion that the motoring termninology is anything but crystal clear. He is presumably in the know that "onside" is actually that part of a tyre which touches the ground and the "farside" is anything you cannot reach from the position you find yourself occupying when referring to it. Maybe some people have a problem knowing which way to turn when instructed to go left or right. The left and right banks of the river are always clearly understood to be seen in the direction of flow, as with a car driving along (or stationary for that matter) but maybe that is too much. Yes, I agree port and starboard are actually unnecessary but there are those who love using them - and why shouldn't they, I say, if it makes them feel special by comparison with the rest of us. Oh, just for the record, I am only too aware that I am far from being a genius - which is why I don't see a useful resaon for off/near, etc.......
Port and Starboard are valid terms - how else would one define which side of a vessel one is facing in the dark. Left or Right is simply not going to work. Even if used - as in river terminology - when in relation to direction of travel or the pointy bit of the boat. Left and Right are relative directions Port and Starboard are absolute.
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Right and left are also absolute, off/near and star/port are only alternatives. In the dark star/port are not shouted out, they are indicated by coloured lights to those who see aircraft and vessels in the dark so they know which is left and which is right (always relative to the pointy bit). Amongst themselves, anyone can call it the green side and red side if they want - the public know right and left as the "specials" do. Geofbob is absolutely correct - if you relate it to some other non-absolute as with side of road dependent on which side you drive then off/near is not the same on the same car once the car is taken somewhere else. The left of the car, bus, lorry, aircraft or ship is always the left and in any language that holds true. You cannot always rely on people knowing that it is near, port or green side though. Nice to know people feel interested in the question, thanks all.
I understand what you are saying but I have come close to collision on several occasions when manoeuvering at close quarters on the water because I was receiving directions using Left and Right as opposed to Port and Starboard (the usual thing of somone referring to Left meaning their left hand side which was in fact my right hand side). I would be happy to drop the old terminology in favour of left and right if a standard were adopted but I feel this is unlikely as instinct tells us to refer to left and right relative to ourselves which is useless when talking to someone who cannot see your orientation.
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Yep, sometimes it is unfortunately difficult to deal with the effects of bad communications. Now, had he/she been directing you port or starboard you would (presumably) also not have known whether it was his/her starboard or port. I think this thread has, if nothing else, pointed to a need to ensure everybody understands each other - obscure language does not help. I remember when someone was asked how many birds he had shot out on the hills. "Five" he replied, only to be put in his place and told he actually shot two and a half. It so happened the conversation was about grouse and they are "supposed" to be counted in twos (braces). I cannot see the point of this sort of thing, but then I have no class ....

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