What are your strangest/most annoying mid-flight experiences?

[AB Asks]

A British Airways passenger got a surprise when they woke up on a flight to Delhi with the corpse of a woman next to them. The lady had died shortly after takeoff and was moved from economy to a vacant seat in first class. Understandably passengers were unsettled by the body. What are your worst experiences of flying? Has anyone ever experienced anything similar to this, or anything worse?

[sense4all]

Flying first class to South Africa , the inconsiderate sycophantic planks in the seat to my left treating themselves to a love festival in his flat bed ... just the ultimate in bad manners.

[delboy3]

Nothing on that scale! I once found a stone in my in-flight meal and alerted a stewardess - who promptly put it in her pocket and walked away. The "world's favourite airline" indeed.

[netibiza]

My mum was flying to India in the 80's with Air India, when the electrics broke down on take off. After a few hours left sitting in the plane they took off, and to my mum's utter horror all the indians took out little primus stoves and started making tea. She didn't land where she was supposed to and Air India lost her for a couple of days - she didn't mind, but my brother who was waiting in Oz was panic stricken, she turned up later.

[JonnoGenie]

Flying Lao airways from Luang Prabang to Vientienne (1995) and noticing several parachutes (one unfurled) in a store room next to the toilets.

Flying Bolivian airways from Rio to Santa Cruz (1985) and having someone in the row behind me spray/vomit over three rows of passengers (incl my neck)!

[sense4all]

Mr Sense flies a lot on business, the person he travelled with on a regular basis ( previous employer ) used to take a teaspoon as a keepsake - a habit that started in his poor student days. Having a very healthy collection he was thrilled to be going on an internal flight in Russia, thus able to fill a gap in the collection. Imagine the shame when the attendant started shouting into the cabin mid-flight that the plane would not be disembarking until the spoon thief returned what they had stolen.She then stood next to the offenders seat with her hand outstretched! Classic!

[Dee Sa]

I knew an American who flew Amsterdam to Dubai on KLM the guy next to him died drinking a can a lager, at first he thought he was asleep and kept pushing him off and then he realised, went to the front of the plane and asked to see the captain, all the air hostess put there hands up in the air as they thought it was a hi-jack, pilot said go back to your seat and I will come and pretend to talk to you and feel his pulse dont start a panic, pilot came and silently confirmed. They told the American that if they could leave the guy there-it was a full flight, he could have as much champagne as he could drink and 2 free tickets to anywhere in the world that KLM flew to , he accepted and spent the rest of the flight planning where to go, when he got off in Dubai the dead man was still sitting there and the plane took off again for Hong Kong.Apparently he told the captain in his slow southern drawl, "my neighbour is as dead as a mackerel".

[Dee Sa]

On a China Airways flight from Gatwick back to Dubai, the hostess screamed during take off and the other one got up and slapped her round the face really hard. Inspired confidence that did I never flew with them again.
Also on the same flight, my brother in law worked in the print and it was Sunday he brought me one of every newspaper to take back to Dubai with me, this old geezer [ I was much younger then] stood by seat and talking down to me said "you obviously havent flown before, these newspapers are to pass around for all the passengers not just for you", you can imagine my reply and he sat down and never said another word all the way to Germany where he got off. Pompous pratt.

[britannia74]

A few years after 9-11 we flew from Heathrow to N.Y to celebrate New Years. There was a lot of hype regarding terrorists on planes again so much so we were questioned by MI5 before embarking and met by armed guards on arrival. The actual flight thank goodness past without incident!
One of the worst inflight incidents (although small )was when my family and I flew to Vancouver. I accidentaly flicked down the foot rest on an air stewardess' foot and had to spend the next 8 hrs or so having her eyes drilled into my head!

[sense4all]

Talking to my hairdresser today I mentioned this question. Well she said her worst ever flight moment happened on a flight from Xanthe (sp) to Gatwick. The Captain had let himself out of the cockpit ... spoke to whoever he needed to, smiled and nodded as he went back up through the cabin, walked back to the security key pad and pressed the buttons and rattled the cockpit door ... nothing happened ... pressed the buttons nothing ... again .. again... now he's got a huge audience and the attendant is wearing her best fake smile ... again, again... finally he manages to gain entry much to the relief of his passengers and crew, there was an audible sigh from everyone.

[Bob A Job]

I was travelling across the pond with Virgin overnight about 5 years ago. glancing across the half deserted cabin i saw a man watching his seatback tv (i think it was an angelina jolie movie) with a blanket across his lap and a familiar bobbing going on underneath. I caught the stewardess's attention a few minutes later and told her, i asked her what she was going to do about it and she said "well he's not in first class, so im not going to give him a hand!" I nearly woke up three ailes laughing. but she did raise the lights in his section until he stopped.

[JonnoGenie]

Classic BobaJob!

Reminds me of when I used to fly Virgin 'Upper Class' to Tokyo just after they opened the route in the early 90's.

Initially they used to offer free in-flight neck/head massages to the passengers, but had to stop providing them, as, as a hostess told me, too many Japanese businessmen were unzipping their flies in the expectation that things would go 'further'!