13 Shades Of...............

[Shaglene]

1. Staring at her naked body, I asked what she wanted. She told me to go for something between a smack and a stroke. So I went for a smoke.


2. How do you feel about using toys in the bedroom?' she asked. 'Fine,' I said, 'But I can't see how we're going to fit a Scalectrix in here.'

3. Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave flow through it. I probably should've told her about the new electric fence.

4. As I lay there on the floor, my naked body covered in treacle and whipped cream, I heard those inevitable words . . . 'Clean up on aisle 3.'

5. Are you ready to be tortured in a way only a woman can torture a man?' she asked. I nodded nervously. 'OK' she said and ate half my chips.

6. Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.


7. She leant over the kitchen table. 'Smack that bottom,' she squealed, 'Smack it hard!' 'I am,' I said, 'But the ketchup just won't come out

8. She wanted to try phone sex so I pretended to be an IT support guy. It turned her on. Then it turned her off. Then it turned her on again.


9. I'm your slave,' she said breathlessly, 'Make me feel completely helpless and worthless.' So I locked her in the shed and went to the pub.

10. Her body trembled and shook.'I can't wait any longer, do it now!' she cried. 'OK,' I said and got the winter duvet from the airing cupboard

11. 'Harder!' she cried, gripping the workbench even tighter, 'I want it Harder!' 'Alright,' I said, 'What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?

12. 'Hurt me!' she cried, pressing her body up against the shed wall. 'Alright,' I said. 'You're a useless cook and your sister is great in bed.'


13. 'I want it now against this wall!' she ordered, 'And keep it up as long as possible.' 'For christ sake stop worrying I know how to put up a shelf.'

[marval]

lol

[bookbinder]

:-) nice one!