How Do You Deal With It When

[nailit]

you see your children making the same mistakes that you have made?
As many of you know Ive had my share of troubles with alcohol, the law, etc.
My son (who is now 19) is going down the same path. He's had a few brushes with the law...as ive posted/asked advice for....in the past.
He turned up at mine last night (half cut) and I had to dress his fingers and knuckles because he had injured them in a brawl. Half expected plod to turn up but thankfully they didnt. (Ive got some suspicion that he's mixing with people that are drug addicts as well)

I fully expect a barrage of abuse/insults here but ive grown a thick skin over the years. (so no need for answers removed) Just want to know how do you turn your children away from your own path in life?

My worst nightmare is that he goes down the same path as me...

[retrocop]

prognosis in this case doesn't mean he has a terminal disease. It means he has queered his pitch and probably won't listen to a word you tell him. He is going down a slippery slope fgs. Thought you said you had a thick skin??? If you want advice man up and listen.

[nailit]

Retrocop, if theres one thing that I dont need, its ex policemen telling ME to 'manup'. Its easy to tell someone to 'manup' when theres several of you on to ONE prisoner in a cell.

[nailit]

and b4 you start your rhetoric, ive been beaten up several times by your collegues in the past. Police are little more than leagalised thugs...

[-SharonA-]

Seriously, the only way is talking. Try talking reasonably, not shouting. Making points and comparisons. Offer him help, show and tell him how much you love him.

[Baldric]

///I fully expect a barrage of abuse/insults here but ive grown a thick skin over the years. (so no need for answers removed)///

You have not had any abuse/insults, just opinions, if you can't handle those you shouldn't ask.

[retrocop]

Baldric
Think he is on another trip.Not the first time.

[Prudie]

I'd have thought some tough love is needed. You seem a strong character, if he won't listen to soft reasoning then give him a good earful - if it's your worst nightmare then it needs drastic action. Your problem seems quite serious in comparison to some parents but we all have to deal with this in some form. I'm tearing my hair out watching my daughter making relationship mistakes the same as I did but sometimes you have to let them go through it and come out the other side.

[nailit]

///You have not had any abuse/insults, just opinions, if you can't handle those you shouldn't ask.///
Where did I say that I have had abusive insults?

[nailit]

//Think he is on another trip.Not the first time.//
Youre not wrong but have noted that questions remain unanswered.

[retrocop]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1466941.html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1466941.html

So Nailit. A man who is happy to boast he can stick to fingers up at the law and insinuate we are all mugs because we pay a TV licence. Will you be boasting if you get nicked.
Done a bit of time?? You are not alone. Remember the thick ones get nicked.
The smart ones don't brag about their crimes.What category do you fall under.
Course every lag says they were fitted up and beaten by old bill. Sure you weren't tripping and imagined it?
Reminds me of The Shawshank Redemption. " Every man in the Penn says he is innocent".
You would pat your son on the back and say nice one son if he came home with half a million proceeds from a bank raid and had not yet got apprehended.
So who was keeping an eye on your son's education and lifestyle why you were in the nick??
Great role model. You want sympathy. I could give you a clue where to find it!!

[Baldric]

Goodnight!

[nailit]

//Offer him help, show and tell him how much you love him.//
I do, often.

//I'm tearing my hair out watching my daughter making relationship mistakes the same as I did but sometimes you have to let them go through it and come out the other side.//
Yes, I agree.

[nailit]

///So Nailit. A man who is happy to boast he can stick to fingers up at the law and insinuate we are all mugs because we pay a TV licence. Will you be boasting if you get nicked. ///
(I presume you mean TWO fingers?) Nah not really. You choose to pay a license, I dont. Not a great crime in the great scheme of things. If it were, I'm sure I would have been nicked by now.
//Done a bit of time?? You are not alone. Remember the thick ones get nicked.//
Cant argue that one Retro ;-)
//Course every lag says they were fitted up and beaten by old bill. Sure you weren't tripping and imagined it? //
We BOTH know that one isnt true dont we Retro?
//You would pat your son on the back and say nice one son if he came home with half a million proceeds from a bank raid and had not yet got apprehended.//
Now this^^^ I take umbridge with. Where on earth did this come from eh?
Am I somehow now a 'godfather'?
//So who was keeping an eye on your son's education and lifestyle why you were in the nick?? //
His mum..anymore questions?

[retrocop]

Yes. After insinuating that ABers are dumb because they choose to stay on the right side of the law and you gob off about your knowledge of your rights and the law why do you expect sympathetic advice when you say in your title that you are thick skinned and don't worry but just want advice how to turn your kids away from your path of life. Soon as advice is given you get gobby with the ABers. Hardly surprising you have received a few smacks in your time with your self pitying, smart rrrrs attitude!!

[retrocop]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sorry. That wasn't a question. It was an answer,.
Are you not surprised that you have received a few smacks in your time etc etc etc? Can't be bothered with this carp anymore.

[ummmm]

I don't think there is much you can do. They don't really listen at that age.

My cousin used to live with me and most weekends he'd get into some sort of bother. He'd agree with everything I said to him but he didn't heed it.

Now he has his own business and I work for him. The change has to come from them.