When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A pint of plain ale is your only man.
When the rosebush has crashed and hard to get
And your lappie's become an also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A pint of plain ale is your only man.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When Sqad say you need a change,
A pint of plain ale is your only man.
When Villa is losing and their cupboard bare
And no bacon sarnies grease your pan,
When the phone is knackered and calls rare -
A pint of plain ale is your only man.
In time of luck's trouble and lousy strife,
You have still got an AB plan
You can turn to a brighter life -
A pint of plain ale is your only man.