Do people set out to cause other people upset?

[dot.hawkes]

Or do they do it without thinking? Are words chosen carefully to annoy or carelessly to upset? do we read what is in front of us at face value? Or do we read what is not there but hidden between the lines?

[spk]

I think occasionally people say things in the heat of the moment to cause hurt because they are hurting, but you also have people that say nasty things just to be nasty and cruel. It depends on whats being said and why. Nasty comments on things like AB are completely out of order full stop. Thats just plain nastiness in my opinion. People can have their own views but should respect others views at the same time

[catherine_s]

sometimes you say something nasty to make the other person feel the pain they may have caused you, its an immature way to do things, but sometimes in the heat of the moment its all that comes out

[dot.hawkes]

But what if it is from a person that isn't aware of your existance?

[catherine_s]

then they dont sound as though they're worth the upset...youre being a bit cryptic...if its someone you know but who doesnt know you, then you will take it personally but they wont give it a second though..in the same way that we dont tend to give it a second thought if we get angry at a shop assistant or receptionist or something like that

[spk]

dont let them upset you Dot- it sounds like somebody has indirectly upset you perhaps?

[catherine_s]

i'll leave this one in your capable hands spk, bed time for me

[EminOz]

oh dear, this is a difficult one, sometimes people say things but dont realise that they are causing hurt. they could be completely oblivious that what they said hurt you. and if they are being deliberately malicious then they are not good people and therefore are they worth your energy worrying about them? or the situation?

[dilf]

dot i know you are fond of ward minter and you clicked with him, im sorry if it hurts .but he has gone missing due to his dodgyness and suicidal remarks.

what will be, will be. chin up girl, come on

[spk]

wheres WM gone? Did Johnlambert push him over the edge?

[raysparx]

Hi dot, I think some people go out of there way to upset or annoy,as has been the case on here recently,other people don't read the questions correctly and then unwittingly give a slightly insensitive reply without malice,that is ok,cos it isn't meant to hurt,but when anybody tries to hurt or upset somebody they don't even know is beyond me, Not many read between the lins, speaking of which are you ok,or is there something here,between the lines, let us know you are ok dot,

Take care, Ray xx

[kick3m0n]

interesting Q Dot........there are people on here who admit that they are not here for peer approval or to make friends, merely to answer questions in a manner that they find amusing. I guess these people could be chosing their words to annoy, but are more likely just displaying their own brand of humour (albeit odd at times) and some will get it, some won't (this is in no way referring specifically to WM...I won't even go there as I value my sanity and I'm scared of shouty bold font). There are also undoubtedly others who are setting out to be nasty and cause upset (we all know those kind) and I think as soon as some of these characters post, Abers who know them are immediately on their guard for an onslaught and so perhaps read more into certain posts than was originally intended. In these cases, I think a lot of reading between the lines goes on (sometimes too much). And of course, humour is very subjective, even those that are seldom offensive in nature can upset others unwittingly, just because pixels don't give the whole story, and you can't see people's smiles (unless they add them, of course :o))

[dot.hawkes]

dilf I haven't even noticed that WM is missing!

I wasn't even ralating my dilemma to anyone in pixel land but that's ok. I was talking real World, the big one out there beyond these orange walls.

[Ashy5]

I wake up every morning with the "aint nothin gonna breaka my stride attitude" people only upset you if you let them,never retaliate as silence is golden and says alot more than any nasty words ever will,you will end up being the better person. Have a good day

[dot.hawkes]

Ashy that is an excellent plan! You are right, that would work actually as I am not one to stay quiet, and if i stay quiet then it would mean i was definately bothered by it. Well done! :)

[kick3m0n]

Ooops, sorry Dot, your use of the word "read" made me think too literally D'Oh!

[malaise]

Depends on the person and the situation, in real life. Some people are just quite nasty and don't like to see others happier or more successful than themselves.

On here, you have time to review what you're writing, so anything that could be construed as abusive has most probably been done deliberately to upset or aggravate others. I don't really see why anyone would waste their time in doing that, but there we go.