Why Do Some People Talk So Much?

[Jennykenny]

I have two female friends who talk non-stop, and about rubbish.
"What I might have for breakfast today, what I had yesterday, what I usually have but might have something different today, what I will have tomorrow.'
And on and on.
They are both lovely people, my age, (in their sixties), and I don't want to hurt them, but the noise is constant. I don't even need to take part. An occasional 'hmm' or 'really' is sufficient.
Do you think it is because they don't get enough attention from their families/ partners?
Serious answers only please.

[Jackdaw33]

They sound like suitable AB material☺

[Old_Geezer]

When young folk develop strategies for life that work for them. Some try listening and watching, find that prevents them being the centre of attention, which they are comfortable with, and it tends to stick and become part of them. Others find expressing themselves stops them feeling uncomfortable, and so that becomes part of their personality instead. Once part of the fundamental "you", they are hard traits to change. And most wouldn't want to as then they'd not be the same person.

[sunny-dave]

Some people can't stand even the possibility of a 'void of silence' - so they talk and talk to make sure it doesn't happen.

I was on my own in a busy bar the other night - waiting for a band to start playing - and an irritating person would just not stop trying to engage me in conversation. It ought to have been blindingly obvious that I was not interested, but he just wittered on and on and on. Even after the band started he kept trying until I eventually had to say "please I'm trying to listen".

I think the problem is a complete lack of awareness of other people's personal space - he wasn't actually the least bit interested in any reply I might make, just needed to talk himself. I suspect your friends may be similar.

[Cloverjo]

I think they must have grown up in families that chat about all sorts all of the time. If there's nothing of interest to talk about, they'll bring up any old stuff.

I'm with you. I work with people who talk all day about not very much. I talk if there's something to talk about, but shut up if there isn't, and people think I'm weird because I'm so quiet.

[murraymints]

[douglas9401]

I suppose it depends on what's being said. Some folk believe that they've solved the secret of the universe and we all deserve to hear about it, no matter how wrong, repetitive and self absorbed they actually are.

[Buenchico]

The examples in your post, JK, all include the word "I".

Talking about oneself all of the time can be a sign of a lack of self-confidence or of low self-esteem.

[Haggisdj]

I may get shot down in flames for this but I find it's a trait of women everywhere; in the office, in the pub, in the car, even more annoyingly in the cinema, etc... I would imagine not being selected to host The Open may be seen as a small price to pay lol.

[TWR]

If I'm doing a DIY Job I prefer to be quiet, I find I can not concentrate if someone is parroting on.

[Old_Geezer]

As a group females have a greater propensity to chat, but Jenny is making comparisons between herself and others, so that would be a different issue ?

[EDDIE51]

I have always considered that the more intelligent you are the less you indulge in 'idle chatter' . The intelligent people only speak when it is necessary and they think before they open their mouth.
This may have a lot do do with my early school days when 'silence in class' was the order of the day. If you were caught talking in class the teacher would make you stand on top of your desk while they pointed out the large building we could see a mile or two away across the fields. This was as we all knew, the local lunatic asylum.( they still had them in the 50 s) The teacher would then tell you ''that's where you will go if you keep speaking in class'' . We were told that speaking was a sign that you were mentally ill! They also used to tape your mouth shut if you kept on talking in class!
I don't think that is recommended policy now!

[Patsy33]

I know a couple of people like that! The one, although a lovely person, does my head in! You can't get a word in edge ways. She jumps from one subject to the next! She has a lot of nervous energy and walks everywhere, she's about 71!

[Cloverjo]

Where I work, it's the men who jabber on about stuff - usually football - all the time. The women talk about other people and their own children.

[Cloverjo]

Can I recommend a book that fellow quiet people might enjoy? I do feel we're in the minority in the world.
Amazon.co.uk User Recommendation

[Jennykenny]

Thank you all. Some really interesting comments. Gave me a lot to think about, (I'm hiding in my bedroom just now as this particular friend is staying with me at the moment.)

[EDDIE51]

My motto that has served me well for 65 years, is see all, hear all , say **** all.

[shoota]

That's why the ozone layer is failing.... too much 'hot air'.

Silence is golden.