How wrong do you think age gap relationships are?

[Silversky]

Personally I don't think they are wrong if the people are trully happy.

But if you're under 16 and your partner was middle 20s, is that wrong?

Thanks for your opinion.

[Ethel]

How much under 16?

With an under 16 there is much more to consider than age of the partner.

[Porque_Jorge]

Depends.
I find it funny how in highschool going out with someone who is say 3 years younger is very wierd but then quite a lot of adults have that age gap between them!

Not saying it is OK to go out with a 8 year old girl when you are 11!

[Silversky]

15

Oh, and I just realised that I forgot to mention one small thing to which I believe you are relating to... Not a sexual relationship

[rugeleyboy]

when i was at school there was a 15 year old girl going out with a lad in his mid 20's....... we all took the pi55 but years later they have 2 kids and they seem happy as larry!!

whoever larry is???

[Ethel]

I wasn't referring to sex. If he is good to you, you enjoy each others company, have friends in common and your parents like him - it is a good start.

[Porque_Jorge]

When you say non-sexual, do you still mean loving though? More that friends ...
Sometimes it's nice to be in a more mature atmosphere.

[malaise]

When I was 16 I dated a 28 year old. At the time I thought I was really smart and mature and all the rest of it. Thinking about it now, 7 years later, it really creeps me out. What the hell does a 28 year old have in common with a teenager?! I now just think he was a dirty old perv - the next girl he dated after me was 16 too, and so the pattern continued.

Also, a friend of mine is also 23 and her partner is 39. I find this slightly less nauseating, but less so because she is an "adult" and actually has some life experience. Still don't know what she sees in him / he sees in her, but it seems to work. So long as they're happy and not breaking any laws...

[Silversky]

Porque_Jorge, when I said about Non-sexual relationship, I meant what I said. Because you can still love someone without sex, obviously.

And Ethel, we work together, so we have similar friends, and some of that in common.

Interesting thought Malaise, but you couldn't decide that until later in life.

thanks for your comments anyway. xx

[robbo82]

I don't think there's anything wrong with age-gap relationships, but there certainly needs to be some sort of common ground. I would find it odd going out with someone who didn't grow up with Gummi Bears, Fraggle Rock, Transformers and Trapdoor, for example! Whatever else is there to talk about other than reminscing about kids' TV?

[kazzianne]

If you mean that you are just very close frinds and enjoy each others company then I dont see anything wrong with that,but if it was going out as a proper couple then I would find it odd that a man in his mid twenties would want to go out with a schoolgirl rather than a woman who was working etc.

[noxlumos]

When I was in my thirties I went out with a girl who was 17 but I really don't consider myself weird or pervy thanks Malaise :). We went out together because we found each other presumeably attractive and interesting. She was an art student and produced the most amazing works of art and I found her to be a wonderful person. I think she went out with me because she was mature for her age ( she'd had one same age boyfriend sell some of her paintings without her permission for �5 at a car boot sale so he could buy the new game that was out for his computer, and she wanted someone she was more on a level with regarding her work and not just into gaming and clubbing).

We only went out for a year and some people ( always women and the insult was always aimed at her) didn't like it, but they were swiftly, firmly and concisely told it was none of their damned business and pretty much soon evaporated. We finally split up but it was nothing to do with the age difference at all and we remained good platonic friends until she was killed last year in a car crash, so I really don't think age matters at all. If you like/love someone then enjoy the person they are, as long as they're over 16 and emotionally mature it doesn't matter a damn, if they are under 16 obviously keep it strictly platonic for your own sakes.

[falloutgirl]

Personally I find it wierd that this 20-something year old is interested in a 15 year old. Obviously there are always examples where these relationships have worked so it's just what you feel is right.

xx falloutgirl xx

[sexysvetlana]

If your you are 20 or over going out with someone under 16 is not only sick but very pervey.If you fancy girls of that age that is a bhit weird.Find yourself a nice girl closer to your age.Or wait until she is 16 and than it won't weem so bad.That said I went out with a 36 year old when I was 17.

[Goodsoulette]

I think any big age difference is testing in any relationship. I dont see what a 25 yr old would see in a 15 yr old girl. The 15 yr old may not be thinking about making it a sexual relationship but I am sure the older man is.

I am 27 and I would never date a 17 yr old boy, ever. I dont enough in common with kids to justify a relationship. When I was a teenage girl I went out with older guy he was 23 and I was 14 and it makes me feel really ill when i think about it now.

[Silversky]

Thanks for your comment,

I think there's a bit of confusion between some of your posts, I'm the 15 year old girl. (Just so it doesn't cause confusion)

And also, I'm not dating/going out with him at the moment. So it'll probably stay as friends, I was mostly interested in your opinion.

But I've known many people my age date guys in their mid-20s, also my cousin did exactly the same and started dating someone at the age of 15, but he was about 20 years older than her. Now they've been married for over 10 years and have 3 kids.

[Goodsoulette]

Silversky, I am sure you are a beautiful intelligent mature young lady and if he was 18 I would understand it. I do not know of a guy in their mid twenties who would think it was appropriate to have a friendship with a 15 yr old girl.

Dont do anything you think you might regret 10 years down the line!

Good luck sweety xx

[mycats]

When I was 14 I went out with a guy who was 26. I didnt think there anything wrong with it as we had the same friends (all his age) , listened to the same bands, drank in the same pub etc *blush* Though my son is now nearly 10 and the thought of him dating a 26 woman at the age of 14 would REALLY freak me out. Saying that I have never been with someone who wasnt older than me. I could never handle guys my age, they bored me stupid, but I was never "young" as it were, I left home at 14 so felt and acted like an adult

[Silversky]

I've always been quite mature in mind (Having older parents normally does that) And I've always been treated like an adult since I was about 5 years old. (I look and sound a lot older than I am as well.) So I've always responded better to older people, men in particular. I also work with alot of older men, so I'd have to get along with them whether I wanted to or not.

I agree mycats. Boys my age drive me insane, I have to be able to have a proper conversation with someone. A one word answer from a spotty 15-year old lad won't do for me.

The last guy who I had similar circumstances with was 21. But once again. Only a friendship.

Thanks for all your comments and opinions. (again!)