am i gay ?

[nobjob]

hello there i am a 25 year old female and i have quite a few friends that i speak to on a regular basis online , the thing is just recently i have found myself really drawn to one of the ladies and its more than just friendly feelings i mean i am seriously becoming aroused everytime i talk to her.the minute i see her come online my hands go all sweaty and my heart starts to beat really quickly. i have never had these feelings before for another female , does this mean i am questioning my sexuality??

[WaldoMcFroog]

It sounds like you're questioning your sexuality, yes. But who knows what the answer is? You may come to the conclusion that you are gay or bisexual or you may come to the conclusion that you're straight.

However, it's a bit difficult when you're online. It may get a physical reaction from you, but you're not reacting to a physical presence from the other person. Most people do find that this is a key part of their sexuality. Maybe you are attracted to the personality, but don't find women physically attractive?

Good luck whatever you decide!

[{Dakota}]

Hi nojob,

Maybe you have clicked with this person to the extent that you are a bit confused as to whether it's an infatuation brought on by how nice this person is? If she were a man would it be any different? A meeting and clicking of minds as you like.

If you have never been attracted to a member of the same sex before, then you have to sit yourself down and answer (truthfully) this: Could I really have sex with her?

Good luck!

[saintjohnny]

Unless you have previously had similar feelings towards other women, it sounds more like a crush than anything else. It is quite possible for people to develop seemingly irrational infatuations and crushes on members of the same sex, and it does not necessarily indicate anything sexual. Sometimes we develop these intense feelings for people we admire, or look up to, or who simply make us laugh. It certainly doesn't mean that you are "gay."

[nobjob]

well dakota never mind minds clicking ive been double clicking my mouse over her and i think that i could have sex with her , we have exchanged photographs and speak alot on the phone and she just makes me feel really special , she compliments me and says nice things all the time .i think she probably just sees me as a friend but i cant get her out of my mind . and when i have sex with my boyfriend images of her keeps flashing into my mind.im really confused , do you think i should tell her how im feeling or do you think that would be too weird and could effect our friendship?

[{Dakota}]

If your friendship is worth anything then you need to be honest with her. If she values it (but not interested in you that way) then she will overcome her feelings of weirdness about it.

It sounds like she MIGHT be feeling the same way though. I have female friends online and I call them nd talking them all the time and I don't compliment them on anything unless it's warranted, so maybe you're in luck?

[Catso]

I agree with saintjohnny. It seems too often forgotten or misinterpreted these days that it's perfectly normal to have a very deep relationship with someone of the same sex without either being homosexual. It seems you can relate to them in a way you couldn't any other and they are the most special person in the world. But, in itself, it doesn't mean you are gay.

Just enjoy your special friendship and stop worrying about it. Let it go where it wants to go: might pass, might become something else.

[Rubyrose]

It could just be a great connection and because you seem to get on so well and this has made you think you could be gay. That case may be that you may never fancy another woman again in your life or this could be the beginning of it all but as this person is more an internet friend then I would think at the moment its a good connection. You may feel so differently if you met her.

*Pssst*... Can I have those pics back aswell? ;o)

[Drisgirl]

I personally would just go with the flow with this particular friendship.I feel if it was me and I had built up a close friendship with someone and suddenly they said they had intimate ( for want of a better word) feelings for me - I would run a mile.Is there no way of flirting in a very subtle way or even talking about a mate who had just met a girl and she was dead happy and see where the conversation goes.Plant the seed in other words and if she doesnt react the next time then I'm afraid I dont think she will.I think you are curious - and I have kissed a girl (in a pub in front of my man - just to get him going - was nice tho) but I dont feel the need to repeat it.

Dont fret about - just go with the flow.Good Luck nojob - it always pans out in the end!!!