To Have Or Have Not....

[EcclesCake]

What are your thoughts when you encounter a childless couple, pity, respect, indifference?

Childless couples forever seem to be judged and I don't know why, much in the same vein I don't understand couples with more than two children being looked askance.

What on earth does it have to do with anyone else?

[NoMercy]

I'd have been 18 weeks now and I was due to go on maternity leave on my 40th birthday. I didn't have a problem getting pregnant, but unfortunately it came to rest in the wrong place.

We will try again but the fear of having another ectopic literally terrifies me, not least because if I lose my other tube, I'm screwed.

It's not fair to judge anyone for not having kids. If they haven't got children, there's a damn good reason for it. Either they can't conceive or they don't want to.

[mikey4444]

NoMercy....sorry to learn of your situation, but I am not sure anybody judges people like yourself......at least I would sincerely hope not.

[NoMercy]

Mikey, if I had a pound for every time I've been asked, "Don't you want kids?"

Yes we do. More than anything.

[mikey4444]

NoMercy...I sympathise with you and I wish you good luck for the future.

[NoMercy]

Thanks, Mikey. I've kind of got a good feeling...

[mikey4444]

Please keep us in touch about your progress !

[DTCwordfan]

and that's what should sustain you NoM....as you know, been there and done that - from a male angle of course....and I knew both times when things really tangoed....

[joggerjayne]

The "overpopulation" issue is quite serious, isn't it?

In simplistic terms, if every couple passed on leaving three children, the population of the planet could increase from 8bn to 12bn in a single generation.

That is not a sustainable number.

Those of us who have no children are helping to save future generations from those parents who have more than two.

[mccfluff]

i don't have any kids, never wanted any and i suspect i would be a horrible mother, i have no patience and hate children. I listen to some stories that friends relate and i have no idea how they put up with them.

i do feel for people who want kids but i can't conceive.

this world is too overpopulated, how to slow it down and do that fairly???

[joggerjayne]

Fluffy, yes ... some of us are just not cut out to be mothers.

I think I was off sick on the day they handed out the "parental instinct" thing.

But it must be so hard if you do want children, and fate, or nature, seems to be conspiring against you.

[EcclesCake]

I'm with Fluff and JJ. I was never inclined to have children, if it happened we'd have coped though, we just didn't go out of our way to conceive. I don't have a maternal bone in my body and doubt I would have made a great mother, although I have received compliments when interacting with friends children regarding my manner.

It is tedious that the whispering continues as to why we never had children and it ticks me off. As far as I can see there is a growing trend for 'choice', yet as has been said, the assumption is that we can't as opposed to don't want to.

I do feel for those who are desperate for children and go through the trauma of IVF cycles. However, I struggle with my belief that children are a gift and not a right, it often leaves me torn.

[mccfluff]

I do know people who are struggling to conceive and I genuinely feel for them, i have a friend who recently conceived through ivf and another who is currently pregnant and my view is still, that having children isn't a right and the NHS should not be funding IVF treatment.

its horrible and its unfair but the world is, and I know that adoption's not the answer for everyone but there are kids out there that need a family.

[woofgang]

I agree mccfluff..

[ummmm]

I think had I not fallen pregnant so young and had more experience of life I would have been childless...

[Barmaid]

I sometimes think "I wonder if they have had to put up with a lifetime of comments about why they dont have children and did they choose a career instead and I wonder if they want to batter the next nosey judgemental toss pot who makes such a comment like I do".

I cant have kids. Would have loved them. Too old now.