As History - trouble with essays

[mountainboo]

I am currently studying the fall of the Romanovs and the Russian Revolution. I have done 2 practice essays and both were given low marks (lowest in the class). My tutor recently gave us a tutorial on how not to do an essay. I thought I had taken heed to his advice but it just confused me even more and I messed up the 2nd essay.
We are told not to be too descriptive about events or people, not to do a chronological list and we must stick to our thesis.
I am still fuzzy on the thesis. I have recently discovered that doing a web of causation is a good idea but on from that I am lost.
For instance, if you had to do an essay on "What caused the Revolution of 1917?" How would you structure it? My thesis would be that it was mainly down to WW1, but if I am not allowed to be descriptive about events, what would my essay comprise of?
TIA

[janzman]

Mountainboo your post is way out of the realm of the AB may I suggest the open university

[pingping]

Hi Mountainboo, what level of essay are you trying to write? GSCE? A'level? university?

I was always told the following advice for structuring an essay (irrespective of what level):

Write a draft introduction - which sets out in brief what you think the essay will cover and what you think you will achieve.

Have between 5 and 7 (depending on the length of the essay) main paragraphs (with sub-paragraphs if necessary) each focussing on a different aspect of the subject matter that you will be covering within the essay.

Write your conclusion - which should set out what you discovered during the writing of the essay. e.g. did WW1 REALLY cause the fall of the Romanov's based on your writing in the 5-7 paragraphs?

Now re-write your introduction making sure that what you say you are going to achieve in the essay matches the conclusions you found having written it. what you set out to achieve often changes once you start researching and writing, and tying together the intro and conclusion in this way means that the essay will have a good flow.

[bushbaby_de]

You could post your essay and we could critique it for you? I studied this topic to A-level standard so would be able to help to a certain extent (although 9 years have passed so the specifics may be a bit fuzzy to me LOL)

[dothawkes31]

I assume you mean AS level mountainboo, you are being asked to discuss causes of the Revolution of 1917 and for this you will I assume have studied the 2 preceding decades in European history prior to that event, it didn;t happen over night. What reference work have yopu been advised to look at?

[mountainboo]

Thanks for the responses. Dot, I have been studying Russian history from about 1861 (post emancipation). You are right it is AS level (sorry about that). This is where I am confused because, through doing a web of causation many factors come into the revolution of 1917. The short term cause is WW1 and there are many long term causes, for example: post emancipation, inadequate transport system, the 1905 revolution, the social democrats, poverty for the peasants, the list goes on. Am I allowed to go into the long term causes?

[mountainboo]

I forgot to mention that I haven't actually been set the essay question yet, but I have a feeling it will be based on the question I have posted. So far all my class mates have just used class handouts as references. I used about 5 books on the last essay and I found that much of the chronological information was conflicting against the hand outs we have been given. I shall try to speak to my tutor as I am a bit more confused than I initially thought.

[Lil O'lady]

DON'T PANIC!!!!!
Just thought I'd calm you down by shouting.....:)
Learning to write essays for AS/A level history is quite hard, and if I'm correct in assuming you are in your first term then the good news is you've got time to make progress. This link is written for teachers but shows how they too struggle to explain and teach essay writing skills:
http://www.schoolhist...ex.php?showtopic=1162
You don't mention the word limit, but if the title is along the lines you expect, you will need to introduce by saying summat like of 'The fall Romanov dynasty in 1917 can be attributed to a large number of causes including (brief list). From these I intend to demonstrate below that Russia's involvement in WW1 was foremost'
continued...

[Lil O'lady]

Then a number of paragraphs but the skill being to keep coming back to your point. eg 'Revolutionary ideology was circulating in Russia and is often cited as a major cause of the Romanov's removal (develop slightly to mention lenin & co). However, these ideas were current across Europe and the West, and although adherents promoted the idea of revolution it did not occur widely. In Russia, revolutionary ideas needed the addition of the hardship and humiliation of the war to spur effective action.'

Then in last para ' In conclusion, while the complex web of events alluded to above were vital contributors to the fall of this royal dynasty, the disastrous involvement of Russia in the war gave the additional impetus needed to bring about the czar's abdication and his nominated successor's refusal to accept the crown, so ending Roamnov rule.'
Try this link too - it's a level above yours but might give you an idea how to structure your work: http://www.users.glob....uk/~semp/romanov.htm