Just heard this morning that a friend's husband has committed suicide. (The 2nd one I've known in 10 years.) Trigger seems to have been his best friend's suicide and his own bullying by his employers. She has to absorb not having been enough to save the man she calls the 'love of my life'. In her early 50's. The pain and feeling of inadequacy don't bear thinking about.
It is, of course, very, very complex, I don't deny that, but ultimately it is selfish and the last word in control. I've helped to pick up the pieces once, the sadness of the first is still with me as I face the second time.