should I meet up with my first love??

[PinkFizz]

3 yrs ago when I was single I joined FriendsReunited and found some of my old school friends.At the same time I saw my very first boyfriends name on the class list and my heart totally skipped a beat.At the age of 16 I was sooo in love with this boy you wouldnt belive! I left him a message but never heard back and so that was that.Met my current b/f 2 yrs ago and still with him.Then.....3 months ago,I get an email....from my first love!! Swears he never got my email and had only just seem my name on the site himself and had to contact me.He emailed me a pic and my heart nearly stopped.....he hasnt changed a bit!! We have emailed and chatted on msn for the last 3 months and he is desperate for me to meet up with him to catch up.....but I dont know if its a good thing or not! And I haven't told my b/f about this at all,well I told him that an old male schoolfriend had found me on friendsreunited but not that he wanted to meet me.

Would you meet up,purely out of curiousity,as friend,or leave the past as the past??

p.s. the chats/emails have all been innocent and he is divorced.I knew him well enough to know he isnt a liar.

[PinkFizz]

redcrx - excellent idea - we could all have a day out and check him out!!

[ktlou]

sorry PinkFizz but I'd say a definate no to this one!! A friend of mine (45yrs old) found her first love on Friends Re-united. She was happily married at the time and had been for years. She wanted to meet him, so went for a few drinks with him, met him more and more often and ended up falling in love with him. She cheated on her husband for almost 2 years and then he found out and they broke up. She is still with her first love but as they both cheated on their partners to be together, they don't have a lot of trust in their relationship or confidence.

There's a lot to lose in this kind of situation. What happens if you get there and the same thing happens as with my friend? You realise you have more feelings for him than before? I would really consider this and if it was me, I'd stick to emailing every now and then for a chat!!

[4getmenot]

I'm coming too. Although if you live near me its probably someone I used to know too :-) have you noticed you've beat a certain someones last post :-)

[Veggibear]

No - don't do it!

Don't you think your life is complicated enough?!!

[Octavius]

PunkFuzz, I stick by my previous answer. If he is out of a long term relationship and single, I can almost guarantee that he will be hoping for more than just a general chit chat catch up. Have you heard of grooming? I think he is giving you all the answers you want to hear to try and convince you that you should meet up. It really is up to you, but if you value your present relationship, it is not a �thrill seek� I would recommend.

[fee-is-me]

Blimey girl... i think i am reading more into this than there really is.

I'd meet. And feel no guilt (i don't do guilt) but i would only meet *IF* i fancied him still... otherwise i probably wouldn't be interested.

So..............?

[fee-is-me]

Sorry PinkFizz... i had a post up last night explaining i was 'purpose' (we were on another slightly risque thread a few days ago), so i'm not some green nutter who goes around calling everyone 'girl'... lol...

[bobdeb]

My advice is to leave well alone!!! I met my first love via Friends reunite, spoke to him on the phone - sounded exactly the same, decided to meet up........... He had changed so much I couldnt believe it!!! He was 3 times the size and looked like a weeble, my heart sank and then to top it all he rang the next day and said that he was still in love with me and wanted to marry me!!!! He hounded me for months and months.

[PinkFizz]

Octavious - i know what you are saying,but think I explained the "desperate" bit wrong.He has a very high powered job with a worldwide company(I checked - lol) and hasnt suggested a day/time/anything/jusy sez he cant wait to catch up

4getmenot - dont think its the same guy...but you never know!

fee-is-me I twigged who you were lastnight.If you wana email me then my add is my old username plus msn.com

[Pippa68]

I had this opportunity ~ in fact I still exchange emails every now & then with my first love (he contacted me through FR).

We have never met in the last 6 years we have had contact..we have talked about it, but decided against it. Through emails we have laid a lot of ghosts to rest & I have valued the contact we have shared, but no way would I want to meet him again because

A) I would be terrified of how I will feel
B) my husband isn't keen on the idea!

On saying that, hubby has suggested that we all go out as a foursome for a meal..although unfortunately my ex has now split with his girlfriend so it aint gonna happen now ;o)

We we both sweet 16 too, Pink...we were 'first loves' in all contexts, and he is very dear to me. I can't tell you what is the best thing to do..only you know in your heart.

[Champagne]

Hahahaha!! I don't believe you FuzzyWuzzy!!!

I've been there and done it though. It was an ex of mine from when I was 21. He wasn't the love of my life but was defihnitely the lust of my life. I had long moved on but never got over him. No man ever came close in fact. Eventually we made contact, just as you have, which became e-mails and calls. We then finally arranged to meet up. I had a boyfriend of 5 years at the time and although it started out innocently, I couldn't lie to myself that the idea of meeting my ex was overwhelming, in a sexual way too. When the actual day came, I realised that if I met my ex and I still fancied him, then I wouldn't be able to stop myself. So on the morning of the meeting him I actually ended my relationship with my boyfriend. It was utter chaos for me but I had to follow my feelings.

Anyway, my ex and I met and the chemistry between us was crazy! He was married, and in the next few weeks that passed he was seriously contemplating leaving his wife & child so that we could get back together. He finally opted for his family.

I still received calls from him, periodically, over the next few years. We still felt really strongly for each other. But, it took for me to finally meet a man who shadowed him to be able to move on. I told him straight, and gave him closure and now that episode of my life is over.

In hindsight I don't think it was worth all the emotional drama for either of us. Or for the people around us.

[PinkFizz]

Champagne - you know me so well!! I definitely dont wana split up with my b/f(even tho he is a total plonker at times!!)

[spk]

go for it- what have you got to lose? Why not ! Good luck ! x

[fee-is-me]

If you DO meet... you realise we will all want the gory details straight after...?

[PinkFizz]

of course.......lol

[kezia_88]

You can't help who you fall in love with, if its meant to be it's meant to be, I would say meet him, there's only one way to find out!

[WendyS]

I could tell you a distrastrous story about two former "old flames" who met up through Friends Reunited, but it's personal to the individuals concerned so I won't.

Just be very honest with yourself about your motives. If it's just curiosity and you can walk away afterwards, meet up by all means and enjoy seeing how life has treated you both. . But remember that neither you nor he will be the same people that you were all those years ago and that you're now involved in another relationship. If that relationship is valuable to you, don't rock it and be open with your boyfriend about it.