Family Obligations Or Not Giving A Fig

[nailit]

How do you ''do'' family obligations (eg: sending xmas/birthday cards to people that you really couldn't give a monkeys about?)
Why do we feel 'obliged' to do certain things in the knowledge that its all bull, but on the other hand if we don't it might cause more family arguments? (if you all know what I mean)..

[Cloverjo]

Nailit, I have tried to keep in touch with my son's 'other' side of the family. I've sent them Christmas cards every year since he was born. Neither he nor I have had anything in return except from GGranny. He's getting married this year and now they all want to be invited to the wedding.
I don't know if it'll be better or worse if they come, but stuff them. They've been nowhere throughout his life.
You can't pick your family, unfortunately. :/

[Jackdaw33]

Not sure what you mean by son's 'other' side of the family.

[ummmm]

Paternal side I'd guess.

[Cloverjo]

Yes, paternal side.

[Mamyalynne]

Families operate differently, no two are the same.

Ours is very easy going , obligation is not a word I'd use for us - an invite can be declined in a nice way and others will understand with no bother.

We too have a wedding later this year and I'm hoping there'll be no issues - I'm quietly confident and planning my speech accordingly.

[jno]

send cards to the ones you want, son't send cards to the ones you don't want. The world won't end either way.

I'd say you don't have to do anything for them if they've chosen to do nothing for you. But it sounds as if they are being at least polite to you, whatever their reason. In that case, do the same back.

Or if you don't want to, just cut yourself off, it's your life and you're free to live it as you please.

[Cloverjo]

Jno, I love your philosophy. I wish I could use in this wedding. Can't they just sign a form to say they're married and then we all have a nice meal and drink and then go home? :/

[jambutty]

There are some family members I can't stand for various reasons, but I never give them a thought and they certainly don't impact on my life, thank goodness.