Chinese wedding blessing

[textmum]

I have been invited to attend one, are there any do's and don't's, any dress code?

[alfiebrady]

White is the (very old) traditional colour for mourning.

[mycats]

Hi textmum, sorry I dont have an answer for you (I'm sure IAP's links will tell you what you need to know) but just wanted to say "Lucky you! I went to a chinese new year party once when I was young, as my best friend was Chinese and it was fabulous. Very colourful and exciting have a great time.

[phaloides]

Yes you should dress for the occasion ( nudity would be frowned on I,m sure )

[alfiebrady]

As IAP says, most Chinese are fairly Westernised, so don't be too worried about it, but it's nice that you're taking the trouble to find out. The money thing can be seen as more of a token , so a note and a couple of coins will do, if you're wondering how much to give. The envelopes aren't signed, anyway. Traditional red envelopes (with a design) can be bought in Chinatown, but you could make your own (usually about the size of half a chequebook) - which might be a nice touch.

[Clanad]

In addition to already good advice, if the guests are Chinese or Asian by majority, keep in mind these few things...Chinese people only laugh when embarrassed. If someone causes offense by their actions, the first thing they will probably do is laugh. Don't leap to the conclusion that they've done it on purpose and are having a good laugh at your expense. They're most likely sincerely sorry, and only wish to lighten an awkward situation. Secondly, there will be a number of toasts given...when someone your drink is poured, a polite and discreet form of thanks is to tap the table next to the glass about three times with your middle finger. This imitates the bowing three times if you were standing. Thirdly, also associated with the toasts...the traditional Chinese toast is performed by holding up one's glass with both hands (hold the barrel of the glass with the right hand and place the finger tips of the left hand under the bottom rim) after being invited by the host proffering the toast. The other person(s) also holds up his or her glass with both hands, and looking others directly in the eyes, all people drink at the same time. The usual Chinese toast is 'kanpei', which means "drain your glass", after which you are required to drink the entire contents at once. If you decline to drink it all, traditionally, you would say ""suei yi," which mean "according to your liking," and allows both or more parties to sip at their leisure.

[Clanad]

Contd.

Last word of advice would be if this soire' happens to entail a semi-business climate and business cards are exchanged. This is a really big deal with all Asians, but especially Chinese or Taiwanese. If you are given a business card, receive it with both hands, one cupped under the other. Inspect it closely and nod approvingly. Place it in a breast pocket or some other place of honor (not your hip pocket).
Oh... and one other...red is the color of good luck as mentioned, but don't sign the guest book or sen a thank you card or anyother writing in red ink. Red ink is for protests, denunciations, and corrected exams. Otherwise... have a good time!

[lankeela]

When asked what you would like to eat, don't ask for a number 69.

[Lore]

textmum, you have been invited to this blessing as the person you are - not who you will pretend to be for the day. all that's required from you is to be respectful, dress as you would for the occasion regardless of culture and most of all, enjoy yourself . Be there for whomever invited you - they obviously like you for who you are!

Clanad, my partner is chinese and he's requested me to ask you this....where did you get your information from as he's never heard of such things?!
I'd also like to add, he only laughs when he finds something funny, he wouldn't laugh if he thought he'd caused any sort of offence and would certainly not laugh at the expence of others as a means to show remorse!

[Clanad]

Hmmm... Lore, exactly with what don't you or your partner agree? As a pilot I worked closely with many crews and met their families in training from China Airlines, based in Taipei. Granted, most were Taiwanese, but most were only one generation removed from mainland China families. We enjoyed many weddings, graduations, and large dinners. I observed all of the customs I've discussed personally. Many other customs I didn't discuss were carefully explained as well. The supervisory officer for the trainees, Captain Liu, was especially hospitable, as was his wife and family... Your advice to go and enjoy oneself without trying to be someone they aren't is good advice... however the original question was asking for guidance, which most of the responders provided...

[joko]

i agree with lore, but some of what clanad has said is good too.
your friends are well aware that you are not chinese and will not expect you to become an expert in their customs, especially since they are in britain - i would think they have become quite westernised too.

it is nice that you are making an effort to find out, but the only thing i would worry about is doing something offensive - i wouldn't try to adopt lots of little traditions, such as the tapping of the table, and taking cards with both hands etc as they won't come naturally to you and will probably make you enjoy the day less.

just be yourself and be aware of things that could upset people....such as no dancing on the table or swearing etc and also check out the links for good/bad colours, clothes, behaviour, etiquette etc.

why not ask your friends if they have anything they wish you to do?