My Mum Passed Away

[jack daniels]

I've not been on here for a little while and i'm in tears writing this. My mother suddenly passed away after having a heart attack, being in a coma and losing her fight to live 3 days later - i'm in disbelief as it happened so quick. The family didn't even have the chance to see her awake but we spoke to her as if she could hear us since that was what we were told. It's been a case of being on auto-pilot/zombie like, going through making/receiving phone calls, seeing people that came to pay their respects (feeding & watering them) making funeral arrangements and then going straight back to work and having to deal with mothers day.......................all in 2 weeks. I'm exausted and finding it hard to deal with. she was only in her mis 70's

[Smowball]

Dear Anna. You have my love and sincere apologies, and my thoughts are with you. My mum died aged just 59, eight years ago and without a doubt it was the worst week of my life. It was also the day before Mothers Day. Fast forward eight years and I'm still here. It's been hard but you will get through this and if I can help in any way please just ask xx

[kvalidir]

So sorry Anna, you must be going through hell. All my love to you and stay strong as you are being for your children xx

[ummmm]

I'm so sorry, Jack xx

[mikey4444]

So sorry for you Jack. It may sound like a bit hackneyed but only time will heal.

[hereIam]

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing worse than losing your Mum and the first few months of grief are unbearable. This is where you have to lean on other family members to help you through it, to talk about her and smile about happy memories (although that will be hard at first), BUT you will get there in time and I have to be honest, my heart bleeds for you xx

[mallyh]

i'm so sorry to hear this (I've just come home from my mums funeral)it is a shock no matter what age we are ,I just try to think of all the good times we had together ,hope you can find comfort in that xx

[paddywak]

First 0f all jack let me offer you my deepest condolances, I know just how you feel. Thirty years ago just before christmas I took my mother to the hairdresses she went in hung up her coat and died it was terrible at the time but it does get better,you'll never forget her but eventually you'll br able to remember the good times and smile.

[-SharonA-]

Oh Jack, I am sorry to hear this. Please accept my deepest condolences. As said, most of us have been through this and believe you me, it does get better over time and you will have just lovely memories.

[jourdain2]

mallyh - you too. So sorry, thinking and praying for you too. What a lovely thing to do, thinking of another in the middle of your own sorrow. x

[237SJ]

I feel for you. My Mum died two years ago tomorrow. All I can say is, be with people, keep busy and don't beat yourself up about your feelings. I was told that bereavement is a process that you have to go through and there are no short cuts but as has been said before, time is the healer.

[jack daniels]

I'm getting mixed feelings on different days but now i think is this hell on Earth we are living in and there's no heaven but we just haven't realized it?? whats the point of being born, growing up with nothing but struggles in life, working to pay the bills/food, earning money to pay for your children from babies until they leave home and even then they throw things at you...........................whats the point?? Then to top it all you just die or have some sort of illness again i just think whats the point?? you're better of not being here if that's all there is

[Mamyalynne]

Anna, it's understandable feeling that way and I'd never want to say stop feeling that.

But along with all the pain and angst , life brings such joy and we have the chance to love and nurture as we go - our actions may not always be appreciated but that is being human.


Take care my love, when my Husband died the strength and support I got here helped me a lot.

[Eleena]

Sorry to hear this JD x

[murraymints]

Jack...you will get through this..what you are feeling is normal..big hugs to you xx

[Old_Geezer]

Ultimately however you view existence it is all that's on offer and it is in your best interest to make the most of it. Life will have ups and downs, and this is necessary in order to give interest and allow one to appreciate the better times. When at a low it is inevitable one concentrates on the pain one feels, and can see nothing more: but the pain is about having realised there was something good after all, and it has come to an end. So there are good times also, dyring which one's natural thoughts are about how wonderful it is to be alive. Nothing stays the same, one endures the times when all seems lost knowing that the cycle moves on and the day will dawn when, once again, when all seems fine. Meanwhile take it a day at a time. Mourn now for the time is right to do do, but never forget that the future is a new place and one you'll be glad you reached.

[Old_Geezer]

DURING

[jack daniels]

Thank you all for your kind words and old_geezer, there are some very deep meaningful, wise words from yourself.
I am taking it one day at a time but still feel as though whats the point and just feel as though it's nothing but want,want,want from people and i just give,give and give - it's in my nature but again i feel used and abused. I can't see the wood for the trees but at least i've taken a step and been to see my GP. I am starting some herbal remedies from tomorrow and have got some vitamin c with zinc to take thats been recommended by friends - i'm hoping it'll help.

Mallyh - I hope you are coping better then me in this horrible time and thank you for replying to me when everything is just as raw for you as it is for me

Anna x