body decomposition

[sheribee]

hi, my nan died one week ago, aged 88! i was with her when she went to sleep, and saw her the day after too. Now we are waiting for the funeral but i want to see her again. We said no to embalming and the undertaker said that there should be no more viewings. But i desperately want to see her one last time, it still feels so unreal!! Can anyone tell me how she may be, look etc and if decomposition will have really set in. Thanks x

[Ethel]

sheribee.

I am sorry about your loss but you really should take the undertaker's advice.

Perhaps you could sit somewhere quietly, in a place that was special to you both, to say goodbye privately.

Your nan isn't in her body anymore, but she is in your heart, and will always be.

Take care.

[jiggy-gb]

Don't do it sheribee, you won't like what you see and that will be the image you'll remember for a very long time, stick with the lovely images you have already. I'm sure the funeral director will let you sit with the coffin in peace for a while if you have things to say, just leave the lid on now.

I hope things go well for you hun x

[raysparx]

Hi sheri,

I am so sorry for your loss,but you must take the undertakers advice,remember your Nan as she was,she is at peace now,don't upset yourself even more, I really don;t think you should see her,for your own sake,take heed at Ethels wise words, she has gone but she will live forever more in your heart, Take care, Ray xx

[shaneystar2]

.I am sorry you have lost a loved one but I would take the advice of the undertaker too.
Better to remember your Nan as you knew her in life .Do listen to the professionals .You would only be more upset ..believe me. If you did see her that could be your lasting impression and hard to forget. It's better to remember her as she was when alive.

[toecrusher]

so sorry about your loss, but please take the undertakers advice and remember your lovely gran as she was.

[sheribee]

Thanks to you all for your kind words, but this is really something i have to do!!! which may sound so strange to lots of people, it is not my nan anymore, that parts gone. But i need to do this!!!! x

[maggie01]

I presume my Dad and Mum were embalmed because we were allowed to see them. I didn't see my dad but I was able to see my mum. I remember my dad as he was in life but my mum just didn't seem real somehow. I am sure you have a picture of your nan. I would find a quiet place and have a few minutes to yourself with your picture and talk to your nan. Remember her as you knew her in life.

[gill3891]

I'm truly sorry for your loss but I wouldn't do it. I once looked at my best friend's dad after a week with no embalming (as support with her) and it didn't look like him at all. She was devastated and wishes she hadn't done it now, I had the same response. It was bad enough with my friend's dad, I cna't imagine it being someone I loved! Don't do it!

[sheribee]

Thanku!! that is the answer i really wanted! i need to know what is happening to her! As i understand she is still in the 'chiller' bless her! And i am so gutted that realistically i cant see her again, many thanks again and i will really have to think again, but it all seems too hard!!
I know she has gone, but this is the woman who held me so tight when i needed her too, and i just feel like ive left her all alone!! i kno she is gone, her soul which is what made her nan is in a better place, but part of her is still here and i still need her!!

[joko]

my friend told me she was traumatised seeing a pal of mine, whose lips had gone black and hands hand gone daark.

i didn't go myself but others expressed the same fee;lings

don't go

[unruliejulie]

Ward~Minter, that has got to be the best answer i have ever seen on AB. Very truthful but also very compassionate. Very wise words. God bless you sheribee, remember your nan as she was. Our memories are the most precious things we have. X

[ktlou]

WM - I think that has got to be the best answer you've ever given, and that I've ever seen on AB. Very honest which is what sheribee needed (however harsh at the time).
sheribee, my heart goes out to you love. It must be very difficult and I can understand that you would want to see your Nan again, but I would take Wards advice and everyone elses advice and not do it. Remember your Nan as she is in your heart, not as she is in the coffin. That way you'll always have good memories.