Teenagers

[scoobydooby]

I'm on a roll tonight -posting loads of questions........here goes.

Is it accepable/unacceptable for full-time working parents to expect weekend evenings in front of the TV with a bottle of wine if nothing's planned? My teenage daughter's (who aren't yet 18) will often go out for a 'day' but then ring us to ask to be collected at 9pm, only to be surprised when we're cheesed off. If they plan their social life, we work around this. However, they seem to think we're at their beck and call - making us feel like alcoholics when we protest. Anyone else in the same situ?

[loopyc]

my 13 year old is just the same i just start to chill out with a bottle of wine curled up on the sofa and she rings, can you do this or do that, the worst is when i have taken of the make up got my pjs on and in she walks with her mates, if i dare to complain i am told i think more of my wine than i do her, we run round after them all day but its never enough!! after reading this i have decided to tell her friday night is my night after 8 i stop im on strike. she wont like it but ho hum shes a teen she doesnt like anything! thanks for that question i feel great no i have had a rant x

[PinkFizz]

Loopyc/scoobydooby - oh how I agree!! Mine have expected me to wait around with baited breath all eve to pick them up,only to get a fone call to say they are'nt coming home - aaaggghh!!!
I think we should all make fri eve a parent eve!! yaaayy!!

[noxlumos]

Yeah all kids are the same, at least ours are. I tell them I need advance warning if they need taking/ picking up from anywhere otherwise they'll have to get a cab and chalk it up to me then work for me to pay me back. They don't enjoy working for me because they actually have to work so it doesn't happen too often:)

[willspal]

What annoys me more than anything is the second they ring they expect (no demand almost) that you drop everything that second and leave straight away.

I have a 14 year old and a 3 & 5 year old and I am often in the middle of their tea when big brother rings wanting collecting NOW. Telling him he will have to wait for 1/2 hour does not get a good response until I tell him to get the bus and then he is different again.

I am lucky in that he only gos into the village of an evening so can walk there and back so I don't get phone calls to be collected at night that often. Its when he has gone somewhere after school or something or to my Mums. Then he rings saying he is now at such and such and could I leave NOW.

WP

[Scarlett]

I think you need to set out some clear rules. Do they get pocket money? Say to them if they want to go out on a Saturday night they need to get a taxi back, and they need to pay for this themselves as you may want to drink and therefore won't be able to drive.
Say that they must allow for taxi money each week, if they are going to need lifts back.
When I was their age I walked everywhere with my sister and mates when we went out. I did have a friend who always phoned her Dad to be picked up (at nearly 18!!) and he always arrived in his pyjamas and slippers! She took advantage of him because he let her. Make your rules clear- you aren't available on Saturday nights because they are "your" night for "going out". A taxi between them shouldn't be too much.

[dancecaller]

My younger daughter used to go out with her friends and they asked one of the parents to drop them off, then they all shared a taxi to the nearest home, slept on the floor and asked to be picked up next day. I was happy not to have to turn out at around midnight as I sometimes did for my older daughter.
But I made sure both knew that I could be called at any time if neccesary rather than e.g. getting a lift with someone who wasn't fit to drive.
I'm more or less teetotal so this was no problem, I suppose your solution might be to say that you would pay an emergency taxi.
But they need to have some consideration, so you are right to ask for it as well as giving it. (If you don't teach them, who will?)

[RavenD]

Scooby....hmmmm...The problem here I think is you give in. You need to set boundries and teach them to realise responsibility and understand that you and your partner go out to work to feed,clothe and keep these kids alive and that you need to recharge your batteries over the weekend. They SHOULD realise that this behaviour is unacceptable unless in and EMERGENCY. I am assuming if they are old enough and reponsible enough to stay out untill 9pm then they are responsible enough to understand the situation. Lay down the law, YOU are the PARENT they are the CHILDREN,the FIRST job of a parent is to love and teach the child, not to be his/her best mate !!!

[Beanmistriss]

Nuts, I feel a bit mean now. When I lived at home the nearest town was a half hour drive away so a taxi was about �35 or so. Even when I was working full time and old enough to go clubbing my mam would say "I'll pick you up at 2" and she'd be there waiting round the back car park when we got out of the club. I always did give her a drunken cuddle though, does that make it better? :)

Must point out though we never did ask her to do it, she always offered.

[dancecaller]

Well Beanmistress, if she's still around give her another cuddle now. I never minded picking up my eldest daughter, but was glad that the youngest didn't want me to.