How do I tell my employer!!?

[doglady]

I'm temping at a lovely company where I would love to stay after my time is up in 3 weeks. They overheard me on the phone telling my hubby I had just been diagnosed with MS, but because I didn't want them to know, I just said "They said yes". They knew I'd been to the doctors, and it didn't occur to me until afterwards that they may have thought I was talking about pregnancy! Since then they haven't let me help with any deliveries or anything, not in a really obvious way, but they keep asking me to mind the phones, and they'll carry stuff. I'm a bit worried that now they thing I'm pregnant, they won't offer me anything permanant, and I want to let them know I'm not. But I don't want to have to tell them about the MS either, as that's not going to do me any favours. What do I do??!!

[redcrx]

well why not ask them why they are doing all the lifting? Joke and say something like 'anyone would think i was pregnant'. Perhaps then they will realise youre not.
I cant see why you will have to say anything about the ms if it is kept under control and in no way affects the position you have within the company.

[PinkFizz]

I agree with redcrx - you could have been talking about anything on the fone - so just make a lighthearted comment and see what happens.

[wildwood]

You told your hubby on the PHONE that you had just been diagnosed with MS ???????????

[kazminx]

at tea break casually say that you are so glad the doc said 'yes' that you are well.

[WendyS]

I'm very sorry about your MS diagnosis but please don't panic about it. Many forms of it are very benign and will not necessarily affect your lifestyle too much.

As for telling your employers, I think redcpxs's idea of a lighthearted comment about being pregnant is a good idea. They will obviously be curious about what your medical condition is and if you really want to be offered a permanent job with them, they're going to want to employ somebody they can trust. I think you should be honest about your condition. They probably would not want to employ somebody who is pregnant because of the future disruption it would cause in the business, especially if it's a small company, but MS can be lived with and they would probably respect you for being honest with them up front.

They are now possibly worried that you're going to try and deceive them by not being open with them until after they might have offered you a permanent job and in their eyes, this will make you untrustworthy. I'd be inclined to be totally open with them and say that you would really love a permanent job with them but if they were thinking of offering it to you, you wanted them to know that you'd just be diagnosed with MS. Tell them you hadn't said anything immediately after the phone because you just wanted a couple of days to come to terms with the news before talking about it because obviously it had come as a blow. I think they would "buy" that explanation and respect you for being honest. They will also accept that you have been trying to look at it from their point of view as well. Good luck. I do hope you get the job. Let us know how things work out.

[doglady]

Thanks for your answers everyone.

Wildwood - we'd been expecting it for a while, so it didn't come as a total shock to him! I know I should have waited to see him, but I had to tell someone!!

I will make some light-hearted comment about not being pregnant, I think, and see what they say. I don't want to tell them about the MS - haven't really got used to the idea myself yet!!

Thanks guys.

xxx

[kazza12345]

it is illegal to discriminate against someone because they have a disability

[lia*]

kazza,
yes it is, and employers find ways to terminate someone when they want to. they will take the simplest, most trivial offence and penalise you for it and make it into a big bad crime. i have worked for HR for a very large company, and you would not believe the underhand things employers do, especially when they want to terminate someone.

[WendyS]

I'd like to repudiate the idea that all employers stink when it comes to employing disabled employees. I also worked in HR for many years and coincidentally went through the scare of having to have tests done (which were never totally conclusive) for MS. My employer (also a big well-known company) were very supportive, as they were of many other employees who at various times had genuine health problems.

Doglady - Your employers have possibly already jumped to conclusions about your condition, thinking you might be pregnant and making allowance to ensure you don't damage yourself by lifting heavy items. Don't you think this shows consideration for you? If they didn't want you working for them they are free to terminate your temporary contract now, without waiting until the three weeks are up. Don't you think this suggests they are happy to have you as an employee? I always think it's worth giving them the benefit of the doubt, especially as you really want this job with them.
Incidentally, would you have to undergo a pre-employment medical if you were offered a permanent job with them? If you do and fail to disclose your condition they would be entitled to withdraw the offer as most job offers in these cases are subject to a satisfactory medical examination. I still suggest you're up front and disclose the condition now.

[kazza12345]

i would also like to stick up for companies - i have a long term chronic health problem, and my employers have always been nothing but accomadating and understanding about it even to the lengths of paying me full time wages for 1 year when i was trying to have a staggered return to work and only managing part time hours. I am on here so much at the moment because i'm recovering from an acute exacerbation of the illness, went to see occy health yesterday who were again nothing but supportive!

[ermintrude35]

...keep a box of tampax on your desk and a huge bar of chocolate and keep moaning about pmt to anyone who will listen ....