Aren't Families Odd!

[Smowball]

After a strange birthday yesterday (with lots of nice parts too!) we ended up talking late lastnight about families, kids etc. About how true the old adage is - you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family- and it's true! You can raise children and love them unconditionally, but doesn't mean that they are very nice people. I don't mean mine personally - I'm talking generally. My MIL was saying that she loves her youngest son but she doesn't like him often, as he is so so selfish. Do we all have family members like this, or do any of you really have the wonderful big loving families we see portrayed on tv?

[marval]

I don't have children, but I have a good family.

[Patsy33]

I get on well with all four of my children. Although my second son can be very selfish at times. I think he is getting a little better as he gets older. My mother was the best, loved me and my sister unconditionally. Her family were very tactile. Now my father's family, complete opposite. Cold and distant....

[jourdain2]

I love my 2 daughters and their children - but I do not like my grandson much. Now aged 8 he is more than old enough to understand right, wrong, responsibility etc.. On holiday this caused problems when he directly disobeyed me (went into the pool unsupervised) and immediately lied to me about it, when I saw him running around soaking wet he said he'd fallen in - it was an above ground pool, up 4 steps! This is now causing more problems because he has never said 'sorry' to me, although his parents told him off, and he needs, of course, to acknowlege and accept his error. Looks like a tense Xmas 'cos I won't treat him the same as the rest who behave acceptably. I gave him an opportunity to apologise and he didn't take it. :(

[Samuraisan]

Yes, he's only 8. I would have a private conversation with him. He may not even remember that episode.

[woofgang]

"he needs, of course, to acknowlege and accept his error. Looks like a tense Xmas 'cos I won't treat him the same as the rest who behave acceptably. I gave him an opportunity to apologise and he didn't take it. :( "
golly.....no words for this one.....if its a safety issue, which of course it was then a word to his parents that you can't be responsible for him if he won't obey you is one thing....but golly thats a bit harsh on an eight year old....if that's how he expects to be treated, no wonder he lies to you.

[Old_Geezer]

Everyone is odd. If you think you know someone who isn't, then you don't know them well enough. That's why we see families as odd, we know our family members quite well.

I don't dislike any of my family. I'm aware they all can be a pain on occasion, when they've a mind to be, but they ain't a bad lot.

[jno]

Jourdain, you're sounding like the head of a parole board, not a grandparent!

I rather suspect that the only result will be a grandson who doesn't like you. Maybe that will suit both of you in the end - but at the moment one of you is only eight.

[ummmm]

You need to take your teachers hat off, Jourdain. I wouldn't allow you to treat my children differently.

[sherrardk]

If you blatantly treated one of my children worse than the others you wouldn't see any of them. He's been told off, just drop it and be the adult.

[ummmm]

And how many 8 year old do what they are told 100% of the time?

[naomi24]

jourdain at 15:34, I'm shocked! Are you really going to carry that on and make Christmas uncomfortable for your family? Really? He's an 8 year old boy for goodness sake!! He's a child! His parents told him off at the time. That should be enough. For everyone's sake, including your own - get over it.

[Zacs-Master]

I agree with Naomi. You're (supposed to be) the adult. Just get over it and move on.

[Peter Pedant]

// "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." //
tolstoy
not exactly happy himself
died in a railway station waiting room accusing his wifey of poisoning him

[Islay]

As someone who was treated differently within her family you may well lose everything if you continue on this course, because the parents may stop you seeking all the children!

[Patsy33]

I think you are being too serious here, over sensitive. I don't mean to sound rude but you come over as a control freak and your grandson is probably feeling awkward round you. Try a different tactic with him, if he disobeys you again. Put your arm round him and tell him you are only trying to protect him.

[hereIam]

jourdain I have to agree with everyone else on here, he is ONLY 8, all children tell fibs. Just forgive him and move on fgs !!!

[jno]

He may have thought he was unhappy in his own way, PP, but that's EXACTLY how my grandfather died, shortly after he finished writing Peace And War. (A 12-page pamphlet on military insignia.) Adlestrop station, it was.

[kvalidir]

If you go head to head with an 8 year old you ' don't particularly like' Jourdain you can be the only one to lose. His parents ( who are the ones who call the shots) have told him off, the matter is now settled. If you choose to resurrect it relentlessly and create an atmosphere when people are all together at Christmas soon he won't like you and possibly once they realise you 'don't particularly like' their child they might follow suit. I urge you to drop this strange idea.