That you love the most, shhit on you?
You can give/invest YEARS of your time, energy etc in certain people and then when you require a little back they dump on you from a great height and all of a sudden YOU are Satan in their eyes?
Instead of re-visiting your troubles, go and get your head down. It's no coincidence that you've started thinking this way on the day you've had a bit of a blip in your sobriety....
I don't know who you're talking about but some people just can't sit by and watch someone they love kill themselves.
I've watched some horrible deaths through alcoholism over the years. Two people I knew really well had their legs amputated and they still fell off the wagon.
You really cannot expect people to stand by you through thick and thin. You're probably hurting them more than you ever know.