How Would You Help

[jennyjoan]

How would you help a fella with no money right now - but is a druggie and an alcholholic.

Would you give him money (not too much) or send a carry out of food to him. Thanks for any advice. His family has wiped their hands of him and also persecuting him for by. Take it from me he isn't all bad - just foolish.

[mallyh]

addict^^

[Eleena]

Best answer yogi ...

[woofgang]

I think it depends on how tough minded you can be.......

[jennyjoan]

He lives a distance from me but I have a car and LOl am not sure of "exact" address. But I'll find it. thanks all for your various comments.

[tamborine]

Youre too soft jj. You couldnt keep your friend away let alone an addict. Keep your distance.

[ummmm]

You don't know him well enough to even know where he lives. Don't get involved!!

[yogi-bear]

^
All the more reason to leave it imo, Conne. ....

Desperate men etc....and ask yourself How well do I really know him.......be careful, if you choose to seek his address.

[Eleena]

You think us hard Jenny?
I was like you ... my brother is an alcoholic, what he needs always comes first before family. There was an incident with my brother and another brother, not in full health, my elderly mum & sister witnessed it, my mum has just celebrated her 90th birthday! My mum and brother should not have to experience that kind of situation. I've cut ties with him. He hasn't asked why, hasn't been in touch. He's unreachable.

[Eleena]

In my work situation, I've had people lend money & return again, gamblers. Why should I be their bank? Don't gamble, don't drink, don't buy drugs ... if you can't handle it.

[yogi-bear]

I'm sorry to hear that, Eleena....must have been hard on you and your family. x

[Eleena]

Yes very yogi. Knowing what my brother has gone through, and my mum 90 who still loves him regardless of all he does.

[Mamyalynne]

I don't think giving our back stories as replies is hard, it's based on experience. I didn't do that but do know how heartbreaking and destructive it can be.

JJ in light of you not knowing his address maybe you could get a third party to take round some groceries etc and that way keep your anonymity to a large extent.

Someone from the Church perhaps?

[yogi-bear]

Bless your lovely mum, Eleena.....and doing well at 90 too. x
I think it's safe to assume that nearly every family has a member who is dealing/has dealt with either gambling, alcoholism, or drug problems....I have at least one, possibly two on my side, Mrs Bear has two, I know of....truly awful, but s*** happens.

[anneasquith]

Food, warm clothing, toiletries, but be careful not to get too involved or give information about yourself .

[Eleena]

It does, of course it does yogi.

[Old_Geezer]

Do unto others as you would do to yourself. Hope he doesn't believe that or he may fill you up with drugs & alcohol !

Do what you feel is right, jj. Never mind what I'd do.

[yogi-bear]

I still think that JJ should be very cautious if she's going to seek him out, at an address she hasn't a clue how to get too, and she says is a distance away.

Wise words from Mamya, as usual, so please heed them, JJ.

[albaqwerty]

keep your distance Conne. and your privacy.

Anyone in your church who could go and assist with giving him a food parcel etc?

[TWR]

JJ, don't open your door that can have repercussions, I'm not knocking this bloke as we are all capable of doing things with life's stresses, I would hand food over to a third party & food only, these persons can be very devious in the sense they can suss you out better than yourself, kindness can kick you as I've found in my life, stay your distance for your own safety.

[jennyjoan]

thank you all for your lovely answers - but I did do what I wanted to do.