ChatterBank1 min ago
Help With My Elderly Parent
17 Answers
Here is the situation
My mother is 89 and is becoming increasingly confused and unable to look after herself- for instance yesterday she rang the police as she did not know where she was - she was in her flat. She was assessed by a care worker from her GPS approx a month ago and passed with flying colours but her workers at the fay centre she attends have contacted me about this confusion.
Now she attends a day centre three times a week and stays in every five week for one eeek which she makes a contribution to. I feel I now need more support for her so who do I contact for advice?
Perhaps I should point out that over seven years ago she gave me a considerable amount of money to buy my house
She also bought her old flat that I have just moved into - it's a first floor flat and she rents the flat below - it's ground floor
I hope I have covered all areas and have given enough information in order for someone to give me some advice
Thanks - as always in anticipation
My mother is 89 and is becoming increasingly confused and unable to look after herself- for instance yesterday she rang the police as she did not know where she was - she was in her flat. She was assessed by a care worker from her GPS approx a month ago and passed with flying colours but her workers at the fay centre she attends have contacted me about this confusion.
Now she attends a day centre three times a week and stays in every five week for one eeek which she makes a contribution to. I feel I now need more support for her so who do I contact for advice?
Perhaps I should point out that over seven years ago she gave me a considerable amount of money to buy my house
She also bought her old flat that I have just moved into - it's a first floor flat and she rents the flat below - it's ground floor
I hope I have covered all areas and have given enough information in order for someone to give me some advice
Thanks - as always in anticipation
Answers
Best Answer
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Hi, Ric....when my mother started to show the same symptoms I went alone to see her GP as she was convinced she was fine and wouldn't come with me.
He arranged an appointment with a psychiatrist specialising in Alzheimer's and dementia.......between us the GP and I got her to this appointment by lying to her.....but it had to be done.
I know your Mum has been assessed by a care worker but she may need more thorough tests......my Mum did.
This led to us getting lots of help for her which was a relief to me......but she tried to kill one of the daily carers so that stopped.
I can't help with the financial side of your situation but I would suggest you start with an appointment with her GP.....on your own......and take it from there.
There is help out there......but you need professionals to point you in the right direction....
Good luck....Gx
He arranged an appointment with a psychiatrist specialising in Alzheimer's and dementia.......between us the GP and I got her to this appointment by lying to her.....but it had to be done.
I know your Mum has been assessed by a care worker but she may need more thorough tests......my Mum did.
This led to us getting lots of help for her which was a relief to me......but she tried to kill one of the daily carers so that stopped.
I can't help with the financial side of your situation but I would suggest you start with an appointment with her GP.....on your own......and take it from there.
There is help out there......but you need professionals to point you in the right direction....
Good luck....Gx
I've had this with my own Mother Ric,( Dimnetia) for her own safety I had to find a Community home for her, for a while she was very unsettled but now seems well, she clean, warm, safe, proper food & personal care that before this all come about, to a point she had let herself go, I now have P.O.A for my mothers finances, I had to do this due to a thife of a Brother, also Office Of Public Guardian, I purchased an accounts book so everything is accounted for, even a stamp, you have to do this for your own protection, in my case without a doubt due to a devious Bother, if you do decide to go this way, contact all the services, D,H,P. Etc, & whoever answer you calls, take names & positions, i hope this information can help you.
I am going through the same thing with my Dad. I saw GP and social workers. I am now awaiting a bed in a care home, which I have to pay for. Dad has vascular dementia, very confused and letting himself go hygienically. He will have to give up his one bed flat after 6 weeks which is when they do an assessment on the situation. Waiting an available bed is taking an age unless I am prepared to leave London.
Mikey, it's not so much the bean-counting that gets me - they can be so arrogant and think that they are the only thing that counts and then when you want a decision from them, they go into gold-plated arrrse-covering of exqusite detail - god help it if a decision goes against the recommended grain....even a simple one such as getting blood out of a seriously-handicapped fifty-year old son of a family friend (German measles the cause) to test for thyroidism and god help his parent and also guardian - he went against them and it's been done. It's important to have them as a baseline in society, sure, but when they behave like this, they have lost the plot and really need to be looked at and pared back in their scope when doctors, homes and parents are in agreement. Cost savings for Hammond there perhaps?
A lot has been covered already. In my case I got a referral to the Community Mental Health Doctor, who came out to the house, and a referral to Social Services.
Once she has had an assessment a decision should be made as to whether your Mum would be able to manage with Care in her Home or whether she needs full time care.
Either way make sure that you claim Attendance Allowance on her behalf.
Lower Rate if in the Home full rate if in a Care Home.
The property situation clouds things a bit. If the flat you live in is in her name but you still have the house you bought the odds are they will expect a sale of the flat. The paperwork I received to 'help me' said they can go back 20 years and recover funds that they feel were disposed of to avoid paying for Care Home Fees.
Before choosing a Care Home read the Care Commission Reports and visit the Homes. Look at the residents and see how they react to the Carers and vice versa. One of the things that helped me make my final choice was when a carer went up to a resident they immediately put their hand out to be held and then stroked the Carers hand.
Once she has had an assessment a decision should be made as to whether your Mum would be able to manage with Care in her Home or whether she needs full time care.
Either way make sure that you claim Attendance Allowance on her behalf.
Lower Rate if in the Home full rate if in a Care Home.
The property situation clouds things a bit. If the flat you live in is in her name but you still have the house you bought the odds are they will expect a sale of the flat. The paperwork I received to 'help me' said they can go back 20 years and recover funds that they feel were disposed of to avoid paying for Care Home Fees.
Before choosing a Care Home read the Care Commission Reports and visit the Homes. Look at the residents and see how they react to the Carers and vice versa. One of the things that helped me make my final choice was when a carer went up to a resident they immediately put their hand out to be held and then stroked the Carers hand.
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