What Do I Say When My Dad Said To Me That There Won't Be Any Wedding?

[Jenn044]

This was a little over a year ago when he said it after I came home from my date and felt very happy and my dad saw me like that and I think he thought I got engaged, he said it in an angry/mean tone, since then when he said it, I have been feeling very desperate and feel like my dad doesn't want or even deserve me to be happy and have happiness in the relationship I am in. I am almost 27, an only child, not engaged but have a boyfriend and we are dating for 3 years now and my dad said we can only date and nothing else in the future, my dad can be pretty strict and is a very serious man but can have humor at times, my relationship with my dad is alright though we do have communication problems at times and don't talk much, but when we do, like when we talk about an issue, my dad says "don't get wise with me" but what I say I am only expressing my opinion, so it is not easy to talk to him about things and sometimes I have a question or questions, my dad doesn't seem to like to answer or simply just ignores me most of the time, that's how I feel. To that I feel discouraged to speak up my thoughts or ask anything because I already know how he could react as he does most of the time so I just prefer not to speak up also to avoid any arguments or disagreements that only stresses me out. I respect my dad and his opinions but he doesn't respect mines and it feels unfair and I feel depressed about that. My family members ask when will there be a wedding and I don't know what to say.

[Cloverjo]

You're 27! Organise your own wedding.

[Cloverjo]

Your dad can't tell you what to do anymore.

[Mamyalynne]

He sounds very set in his ways (as some Dads are) and also perhaps not too keen on your boyfriend.

But you are a grown woman and you must make your own life.

I realise there may be many considerations of your family life I am unaware of.

[pixie374]

At 27, it's entirely your choice and nothing he can do. If he objects that much, tell him he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to, but you're entitled to your own choices.

[kvalidir]

Crikey whether there is a wedding or not is entirely between you and your fiancee, nothing to do with anyone else. Do you mind me asking which cultural group you belong to please Jenn, as that might vary how I suggest you go about handling this?

[Old_Geezer]

Couldn't have put it better than jo. You're an adult, sort out your own life on your own efforts. It's one thing to listen to opinions, quite another to stay under someone else's control. Just make sure you don't chose a partner as controlling as your father.

[Jenn044]

kvalidir- I am of Polish background but born and live in Canada and my boyfriend is of Spanish descent.

[Jackdaw33]

If she is not engaged then he is not her fiancé.

[-SharonA-]

So!! As cloverjo says, organise your own wedding!!! Doesn't matter about the nationalities. You're a big girl now.

[kvalidir]

Then I would say there are no special cultural hoops to jump through, just speak to your fiance and decide if you want to get married. In my experience people with a bee in their bonnet about things, usually simmer down if they are quietly and confidently fronted out on it, so if you decide to marry don't ASK your father simply TELL him your good news and the date of your marriage and don't allow yourself to be sidetracked.