Care Home Instructions

[sunny-dave]

After all the ghastly stories we've seen recently, I'm thinking of writing a few brief notes for any care home owners who wind up with me in their establishment ...

1. I don't function without A Pint of Strong Tea when I wake up, and then you need to feed me very soon after - waiting too long for my weatyflakybix will result in us falling out (and, probably, in me falling over).

2. "Does Not Play Well With Others" - specifically, attempts to get me to play Bingo or anything similar will not end well.

3. My target for 'green crap' is 5 a week - at best - just stop with the '10 a day' nonsense and we'll be fine.

4. I cannot "sit up in bed" - my back will not put up with it for more than a few seconds - let me lie down or get me into a chair. Your Physiotherapy bill will escalate if you ignore this.

5. When you need me to shut up, find some cricket for me to watch - red wine helps too.

There are probably more ...

... but what are yours?

sunny (but with occasional thoughts of impending mortality) dave xx

[hereIam]

Help me when I need to go to the toilet, don't ignore my discomfort, let me watch Corrie in peace and don't serve me luke warm milky tea, I like my tea piping hot ! Hope I don't end up in one of those places though ...