I Took
I took my daughter for a ride on the carousel today. The staff at Heathrow Airport were outraged.
A policeman pulled me over earlier, he asked me if my car had been checked. I told him no, it had always been yellow.
I wanted to join the police but I failed the screening process. I couldn’t even play ‘Every Breath You Take’.
I bought a pair of trousers the other day which were a bit tight around the waist so I decided to let them out. I should have waited till they got used to the place. They’ve been gone four hours now and think they’re lost.
Somebody snuck into my house today and put a moist cloth on my calendar, which has really put a damper on my whole month.
I visited a fortune teller yesterday and it really didn’t go too well. Got chased down the road with her screaming after me. Could have sworn she said Cross my palm with saliva.
My brother has been made president of the Erection Club. I think it is because he is the longest standing member.
I cooked an exotic curry recipe for dinner last night, but when I sat down to eat it I couldn’t find it. It was a Korma Chameleon.
I am writing a book about the wonders of blood. However, in the next chapter I’m going to talk about the dangers of platelet disorders. The clot thickens.