Dealing With Disrespect

[nailit]

I know that respect is commanded NOT demanded but sometimes life doesn't always work out according to our pithy little sayings.
So how do you deal with someone that constantly disrespects you?
Ignore them and let it carry on?
Give them a clout and get in trouble with the law?
Distance yourself from them? (not practical, if you have to work with them for instance).
How do you deal with lack of respect?
Thanks.

[nailit]

//Disrespecting someone isn't quite the opposite of respecting them//
I had to think about that for a moment Prudie, but yes, I think I agree.
//but you are meaning adults//
Yes.

[NoMercy]

My mind is boggling now, Nailit. You'll have to tell me in an email, as I'm always looking for inspiration.

You can get my email address from Minty.

:-)

[nailit]

//My mind is boggling now, Nailit//
LOL NoM, afraid it might have to boggle a little longer. Lets just say that I was young at the time and had a warped sense of revenge.
Not proud of it by any means now (in fact feel quiet queasy about it)

I'm sure that Minters would give you my email/FB if you'd like it NoM ;-)

[Jackdaw33]

Am I alone in not liking the word 'disrespect' as a verb? Sounds unnatural to me. No respect or lack of respect sounds better to me.

[woofgang]

Well if its the paperboy I don't tip him at Christmas, if it had been a work colleague I would have handled it through the system. A family member, I would tell directly how I felt and if we couldn't reach an agreement I would cease to have anything to do with them....anybody else some mixture of the above.

[rowanwitch]

Regardless of their disrespect I would not lower my standards however I would politely challenge specific instances. Sometimes when problems continue I would discretely ask around in case their disrespect has extended to saying things about me. If so I might consider a more formal route for complaint if in the workplace, privately I would consider writing to them asking them to desist but also offering a chance to sit down in a neutral place and try to resolve the problem.

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After that ignoring them and only dealing with them with a third party present. After that..... let's just say I have a very dark sense of humour.

[NoMercy]

Fair one, we've all done things we'd rather no one else knew.

;-)

[Islander]

Nailit, if I felt that some form of disrespect was having an impact, I would challenge it. It might be more of a problem for you than the other person.

[nailit]

//Nailit, if I felt that some form of disrespect was having an impact, I would challenge it//
When I was a child, my childhood was disrespected...
In some ways I fail to understand this concept of respecting others 'just because' they should be respected.
But now as an adult I fail to understand the entire concept of respect, its all bo llecs to me.
And now my own child hates me just as much as I hated my own father.

[Jackdaw33]

He doesn't hate you enough to refuse handouts, though.

[melv16]

Is your son still smoking weed, nailit?

[anneasquith]

If your son hates you, tell him to move out of your home .

[nailit]

//If your son hates you, tell him to move out of your home//
You've got no concept of loving ur kids whatever?

[nailit]

I don't understand this idea of conditional love.

[anneasquith]

Actually I do. My children don't hate me or indeed disrespect me, I'm sorry your child does .

[nailit]

Lucky you anne...

[rowanwitch]

If you provide a safety net, no one learns to fear falling , if love brings you to save the day time after time how does your son learn to solve his own problems. That is respecting his right to self determination, he will probably see it as you being a 5h1t until years have passed but hopefully he will finally realise and understand. That doesn't mean you don't support and advise just don't take over and solve the problems for him.

[jennyjoan]

I was fairly afraid of my mother and never afraid of my dad - but my dad (I was 13 at the time) - just looked at me and then at the clock - which meant it was time for bed.

When I was cheeky my mother let me have it - but I loved them very much - my brothers were afraid no that's the wrong word - they respected her and dad but they loved them.

It is difficult to put into words how to say things but I don't think your son hates you - you have been his saviour through many things.