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Jesus Mary And Joseph ... And Probably The Donkey Too

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sunny-dave | 14:26 Mon 14th May 2018 | ChatterBank
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“There are priests who carry out exorcisms on their mobile phones. That’s possible thanks to Jesus”

http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2018/04/17/priests-are-performing-exorcisms-over-the-phone-cardinal-claims/

You couldn't make it up ...

... but thanks to a man in a Big Red Hat, you don't have to.

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Press one for. Be gone foul fiend Press two to stop head rotation Press three for our anti poltergeist team Press four to obtain a quote for other services Callers must be over 18 and remember to ask the bill payers permission Calls are charged at a premium rate and other charges may apply You have been talking to God and son (miracles Inc) a subsidiary of Deities...
14:38 Mon 14th May 2018
"Last month, Italian exorcist Fr Benigno Palilla said there had been a surge in demonic activity in the country, and that Italy needed many more exorcists"

I'm happy to go to Italy and exorcise people, how much does it pay and more importantly do I get fed?
Quit the 'quite quiet' quick...
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http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2018/03/09/video-when-the-devil-strikes-exorcists-are-ready-for-battle/

“It’s like a dentist. Thanks be to God we don’t need to go to the dentist every week, but (when) we need the dentist, we need him”

If anyone wants an exorcism done cheaply, I'll nip up to church and say the words. Say £100 a go, I'll do 2 for £150 --------------- it's a good offer!
I can get rid of spirits pretty quickly. Hic...

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